The night

I've been teetering on a major bout of insomnia for a few days now and tonight is going to be the night. I couldn't even stop myself, I took a vivarin (previous experience with this medication has led to three consecutive days without sleep, although I took three pills at once, but still...) Sometimes insomnia, and dancing endlessly for hours, has an appeal that is so beyond the ability of reason to counter it that reason and desire may as well have no common points of communication. This is one such night. For now it is techno and diet coke. We'll see as the night progresses.
As a side-bar (there will be many to come) I have only recently begun to judge my television watching habits on the commercials that populate the downtime. For example, only recently did it strike me as odd that my tv shows were frequently interrupted by ads for the armed services, or on other occasions, nearly constant appeals from the aarp. I am watching the tv that young and old men are watching.
Also, I am blaming my current state on my having gotten a flu shot today for the first time in my life. I am hoping that multiple flu shots will protect me against the avian flu. It may or may not work. No one really knows. But for 10 USD, pourquoi pas?

India

Oh, and I ended up going to India over Australia. I did indeed fall ill (3 times) and it was at times highly stressful but nevertheless a very interesting trip to the third world. I would post pictures but I've lost the necessary technical devices.

Political Futures

Good slate guide to resources. Personally, I can't see how anyone but Fred Thompson can win the election so it all seems rather irrelevant. However as someone who doesn't understand the concept of gambling when the odds are against you, this provides me with an outlet for my addictive tendencies.

As a side-bar, it would be fascinating if votes were counted not just as each vote being equal to another but as each vote having more weight depending on the passion with which the vote was cast. And there would be minimum thresholds of passion that had to be met, and in that way you could have a presidential election that would not result in a winner, because so many of the votes were motivated by something teetering on utter indifference. Maybe then we would have a second round of voting with the top vote-getters, with lower passion thresholds.

Skin quality

I am currently on a trip to the British Isles and remembered that what always struck me the most about these people was the quality of their skin. A lot of other things really haven't gone their way, but the skin is remarkable. It has something to do with the air because after a couple days in Ireland my skin starts to look good too. I have decided that I want to be surrounded by people with lovely skin. There is something so calming and refreshing about it.
It also makes me wonder whether if people whose ancestors are from different places were to go back to those places, if they too would have lovely skin. It seems likely because the evolutionary value of adult acne combined with dryness seems quite low indeed. But, how to do it when you are a mix of things? Can you go to any of the places your ancestors were from? The most dominant? Or would all your ancestors have to have come from the same place for it to work? Only the dutiful work of scientists will tell us.

One reason I'm glad I'm not a doctor

I think it might be very stressful if you worked in a team environment and when you went on vacation someone else took over for you and that someone else was not as competent or as dedicated to the job. Thus, it would be very hard for me to take vacations because the result might be very serious for the patients, moreso than when you go on vacation from other types of jobs and the less-competents take over. I mean, no one is going to die because the filing wasn't made on time or the clause in the document was drafted incorrectly. There must be other reasons I'm glad I'm not a doctor, although I can't actually think of them. I should have at least prepared to go to medical school, on the off-chance that I decided I wanted to. I think I took one of the classes I would need to have taken undergrad, and that was entirely coincidental. If only I could go to med school without all the background stuff. In the evening. Or over the internet. It would just be very interesting - I don't think I'd need a degree I could practice with. It would just be nice to self-diagnose more effectively. Although I seem to be just as good as my doctors over the last few years.

My ability to concentrate...

Is somewhere around that of like a three year old child, or if we want to anthropomorphize, of a small sort of bug. Although club music kind of helps, where as it would likely distract either the small child or the bug. Assuming our bug is sensitive to sound vibrations. He might think it was the equivalent of an earthquake in his world and so he might try to stabilize by flying wildly about, searching for a surface. Or sometimes they freeze. In general, bugs tend to overestimate their ability to blend into the background. Perhaps it has to do with the human encroachment on the ecosystem and where as before the bug would have been sitting on a leaf it is now sitting on a cd case and I can see it quite clearly and would never mistake it for part of a leaf. All theoretical, as there are neither bugs nor cd cases in my current environment. I used all my cd cases as part of decorative gifts and I don't wear my glasses and don't have contacts so technically I don't know that there aren't any bugs but I can't see any and I like to pretend that what you can't see isn't there. It's remarkable how much less stressful life becomes when you can see with clarity relatively little of what is going on in the world.

Ever so slightly curious as to what the obsession with Harry Potter is all about

I once saw part of one movie. It was reasonably entertaining but I can't say I was enthralled. And if I'm going to pick up a tome to read, it's going to be one of the classics that I just haven't ever gotten around to. At least that way I'll have accomplished something significant. The whole Harry Potter thing is, however, evidence of the ability to make massive sums of money by tapping into legal addiction. In fact, as the alcohol companies have recognized, one of the best ways to make money on legal addiction is to capitalize to the illegality of many addictions (the alcohol companies fund major anti-drug campaigns, as a point of explanation). All these people out there are just looking to get addicted to something that doesn't have a social stigma and Harry Potter hit on that. The point being that I need to determine how I can create a socially acceptable addiction and capitalize on it. For another day.

A reason not to be miserable

A relative stranger just asked me as I was exiting my building whether pigeons are kosher - this was how he started a conversation. I couldn't remember, although I remembered something about it and as I tend to be more liberal I said I couldn't imagine why not. Strictly speaking, I'm not wrong but I'm not right either. But the important part is that someone randomly asked me this. That means there are more people in the world like me. It's slightly reassuring that other people are living lives of total randomness. I feel a little less lonely.

FBI admits remote install of spyware

This is sort of a niche interest of mine as I briefly worked in a position focused on limiting government control over individuals (particularly as exercised beyond the powers allowed in the Constitution) and one of the policy papers I worked on was a complete overview of government use of electronic hacking devices. The keylogger cases referred to in the article presented a clearer issue of privacy violation because an individual was actually accessing your personal property to install the software. So it begs the question, what level of privacy interest is there in online communications? Because even wanting to be on the side of pro-privacy groups, internet-based communications clearly just don't have the same level of privacy expectation as a normal communication. Why can't the government do what private companies do, without punishment? If my computer can be riddled with spyware, why can't some of that be from a government agency? I'm sure there's some clear analogy to be drawn to more traditional interpretations but I think the truth is probably that the concept of privacy on the internet is an entirely new being and can't accurately be analogized to existing concepts.

Benadryl makes me sleepy

I'm not sure I've ever taken it before. Had to take it today as a preventative measure due to a series of shots I'm getting and wow, did I fall asleep. I haven't slept like that in months. It was beautiful, perfect, ideal sleep, complete with lucid dreaming on both ends and the sensation afterwards of complete calm and food tasting magnificent. I have trouble, however, imagining what people who use this recreationally are shooting for. I would be asleep for days if I took that much.

John Deere at your doorsteps! [sic]

My spam from 2038 recently made this promise. It caused me to reflect on what a hysterical practical joke it would be to have a john deere tractor delivered to someone's apartment. It would be a very expensive joke, so it would have to be somehow highly relevant or hints and clues would have to be dropped ahead of time to justify the expenditure, but it would really be almost absurdly funny. I mean, I wonder if they would even consent to such a delivery. Like, they would have to know something was up when the delivery address was like, Apartment 9H, New York, NY. So it might not even be possible. I wonder if they would attempt delivery. I don't know whether the john deere co itself facilitates delivery or if a common carrier of some sort is used. If the latter, there is the question of FOB what place and whether it just might be possible because the processing of the orders is done separately from the shipping. Actually, even trying to place the order might be hysterical, once you gave the shipping address. I think they would be too suspicious to place the order, in the end.

LaSalle to become BOA after all...

From the iht. I'm not sticking around to have BOA nickel and dime me on outdated charges after it takes over my finances for the second time in a couple years. As much as I'm a fan of LaSalle I'll just have to do what I should have done years ago and move things to Citibank. BOA is a terrible company in terms of managing its clients.

Wigs

No more wigs for certain British judges. Disappointing, because then how are you supposed to know who really has authority in the courtroom? But for the wig, anyone could wander around claiming responsibility and control of the proceedings. It's like when the new teacher looks too young and it's unclear who is the teacher and who are the students. Moreover, I wouldn't doubt that one of the perks that draws many to the profession is the wig allowance - and think of all the people whose jobs will be lost with the lower demand for wigs - it's unlikely many plebs are looking to buy these (apart from as a Halloween costume, but it really isn't such a big holiday over there). A sad day across the board.

Epipen

Is evidently a formulary. This was shocking to me because I am pretty sure I've been hearing about epipens longer than the protected period. I also would like to point out to pharmacists that one of their jobs is to assist patients with questions, such as, excuse me sir but as I may end up in anaphylactic shock anytime in the next hour due to a recent allergic reaction (ergo the reason I am filling this prescription, barely able to talk and unable to stand on my own) could you explain how one uses an epipen? The appropriate response to that is not, call us when you need to use it. It's for when you can't breathe, you prick. I swear Walgreens, if I wasn't so angry with CVS, I would have nothing to do with you. I'm going to have to find a pharmacist who has hung up a shingle or something.

Reality strikes internal dialogues

It turns out that one of those keystroke programs actually was being run on my computer (see earlier post). I won't lie, I'm fascinated. Off the top of my head, I can think of several people who might be responsible. I wish there were more, but it takes someone extra special to actually go through all kinds of random keystrokes searching for things. Of course, I don't have time to actually be bothered with this right now as I am studying for the bar. So if whoever's program I just obliterated is annoyed, please do not contact me until the bar is over. Have some common decency. Danke.

New Resolution

Never again move to a city that is not the major city of a country. Perhaps exceptions will be made in the future for permanent moves to summer homes or a series of temporary moves to random destinations. While no mass of people on a sidewalk in the world evidently walk quickly enough for me, there is no reason to be somewhere where tourists from farms routinely wander into the line of business traffic. I also am tired of having to walk 10 blocks when I want to go grocery shopping at 4am. I am probably going to have to move to Asia - disappointing, as I studied romance and germanic languages.

Cloud Seeding

A totally fascinating form of potential harassment of neighbors.

More tvs than people

In the one legitimate news part of the onion, its invented people discuss this fact. This strikes me as not at all notable. I'm pretty sure we had more tvs than people in my house growing up from like age 8 onwards. And we added a person during that time. Part of it was this competition I kept winning from which I got several televisions, but we still had more televisions than people even ignoring those. What is really shocking to me are the number of people who grew up not allowed to watch tv, and why exactly I seem to have met (or am on a path to meet) all of them. The amount of content, the number of things to learn, the opportunities that are available to the fertile mind from television are infinite. I suppose there are some people whose brains are rather dull and so they don't take much from television and it actually retards brain growth, but I can't honestly see how that's possible as what it does is to introduce an infinite number of possible scenarios into the brain and so it should be creating new connections. It seems more likely to me that since evidently people who get really stuck on tv as children have brains that aren't as developed or something, that those kids just weren't going to have super-developed brains in the first place. A nyt article I was reading yesterday discussed how intelligent children's brains go through the initial pruning process later. So it strikes me as more likely that the intelligent children's brains are inherently intelligent and the less intelligent children's brains are less intelligent and perhaps, as a result, they are more attracted to pre-created content and not as personally creative because their brains just don't work that way (and are pruning connections earlier). In which case, television is probably good for them since otherwise their brains wouldn't be processing anything.

Greenland's Greenness

So at some point, Greenland was green. What is so interesting about this is that it is unclear when exactly Greenland was green because the DNA evidence evidently has an error window of up to nearly 700,000 years. I've always had a bit of a hankering to travel to Greenland - it ends up being quite expensive because the travel there tends to be a lot of outdoorsy stuff but I've gotten very close on a number of occasions. In the tourism brochures the locals wear delightfully bright clothing which combined with the arctic nature of things has this sort of wild spirit that I find inspiring. Plus, back in the olden days of airplane travel, Greenland was often a point for planes to stop and refuel on long trips so a lot of people used to randomly end up in Greenland en route to say, Cuba, which makes it all the more quirky. The fact that Denmark owns Greenland is a turn-off, but that there is a local movement to change that adds to all the other wackiness that excites me about Greenland.

Warren Buffett issues death threat

Yeah, it caught my eye too. The actual story, from Motley Fool, is little more than the most basic investing information - I would be a little surprised if a six year old didn't intuitively understand its concepts.
However, I accept this as my life is full of disappointments. For example, I put on the country music station b.c. I really need to be studying and need to not know any of the music I listen to. It turns out that country music is depressing in the way that realizing your parents and teachers are just normal fallible people is depressing. It sort of shows you what humanity is really about. I also can't help but wonder who the people are who surround me in these buildings who are actually listening to and thereby allowing for the existence of this station. Are they like the people in the songs? Are their lives like this? Are these the things they think about, is this the way they talk? In short, the music is depressing and has also not served its purpose of keeping me focused on my work, adding to the depression.

TB guy

is a total whiner. Particularly his family, who i saw briefly at the recent press conference complaining about how people jumped to conclusions and were ruining their family's name. Well, again, your son decided to travel internationally, after he'd been told not to and how dangerous his condition could be to others. The fact that it's slightly less dangerous than previously thought is totally irrelevant. You've raised a self-absorbed irresponsible boy. It seems pretty fair that your family name should be vilified. Of course, what he did was totally reasonable - he was looking out for himself, but if you're going to be totally selfish then you have to accept that some people might react poorly to that. Particularly considering that he knew he was sick before he left the country, as I understand it, it's sort of absurdly self-indulgent to go on a long European vacation. Of course, I'm biased against TB guy because he looks like a skinny loser. Not a fan of skinny.

Pashat

To put it clearly, something is running on my computer. I like to imagine all types of reasons for this, even though the most likely culprit is windows defender, the most voracious program since Acrobat started running ads. I normally assume that one of my friends has decided to invest in one of those programs that pulls keystrokes from remote computers, although, of course, that is absurd b.c. no one would honestly want to read me struggle through the covenants of warranties or watch me search fruitlessly for information that should be on my master bar outline and isn't. Or, in the alternative, if they do want to follow my typing, all the more intriguing. It really might be kind of fascinating to try to put yourself in someone's shoes, like if you get it in real time you would know when they were pausing, like on google talk. And you could speculate endlessly on what they were thinking. But I don't think I know anyone with that kind of free time right now. So, I should probably just do a system scan. Yep-a-strudel.

Ode to emetrol

I didn't know about this remarkable item until relatively recently and it has definitively changed my life. It probably won't change yours because it is unlikely that you have undertreated stomach ailments that probably relate to a genetic stomach ailment that had to be cured by surgery but regardless, what a delight it is. When tums and nexium and anything else I can get my hands on fail to work, there is emetrol. And as far as I can tell, it's just sugar so I can have as much as I want. Plus it provides calories so I don't have to worry about getting those through food (see "Food Pellet" post in June). So Fraser, wherever you are, thank you for letting me know about this when I showed up terribly hungover in your apartment one sunny Sunday morning. I'd send a card, but I honestly have no recollection of where the apartment is.

More scam email

Just so you can see the variety, or lack thereof...a friend told me yesterday that these scammers feel they are justified in stealing money from people. Odd, but in truth, a lot of people who steal are able to tell themselves they're justified. A justification is just a marshaling of certain concepts as necessary facts and placing them in contrast to any given situation. So of course, you can justify anything as long as you start with certain things that justify what you believe, i.e., employ circular logic. Oh, how I know people who do that...

Here writes Madam Susana Kadrlik Cole, suffering from cancerous ailment. When my late husband was alive he the sum of 5Million (Five Million Pound Sterling) which were derived from his vast estates and investment in capital market with International Finance Corporation(IFC) here in UK. Presently, the investment potfolio is still on till 2013. Recently, my Doctor told me that I have limited days to live due to the cancerous problems I am suffering from, So, I decided to contact you due to time limit. Though what bothers me most is the stroke that I have in addition to the cancer. With this hard reality that has befallen my family, and me I have decided to donate this fund to you and want you to use this gift which comes from my husbands effort to fund the upkeep of widows, widowers, orphans, destitute, the down-trodden, physically challenged children, barren-women and persons who prove to be genuinely handicapped financially. It is often said that blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I do not have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are bourgeois and very wealthy persons and I do not want my husband hard earned money to be misused or invested into ill perceived ventures. I do not want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner, hence the reason for taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be with the Almighty when I eventually pass on. The Almighty will fight my case and I shall hold my peace. I do not need any telephone communication in this regard due to my deteriorating health and because of the presence of my husband relatives around me. I do not want them to know about this development. With God all things are possible. I want you to stand as the new beneficiary to the funds. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the International Finance Corporation (IFC) where the portfolio investment. I will also send you a Change of Custodian and Premature Investment Portfolio Liduidation Form that will empower you as the new the custodian and beneficiary of this fund. My happiness is that I lived a life worthy of emulation. Please always be prayerful all through your life. Please assure me that you will act just as I have stated herein. Hope to hear from you soon and God bless you and members of your family. Endeavor to send me your names, address, telephone and fax number to enable contact you with more details/ all the relevant documents by email/ fax. Yours sincerely Madam Susana Kadrlik Cole. Reply email: su.cole@hotmail.com

And another...

Dear Friend,

This letter may come to you as a surprise due to the fact that we have
not yet met.
After searching through your country's Chamber of Commerce and industry
here in Dubai I am contacting you to assist me, I have to say that I
have no intentions of causing you any pains as you read this.

I don't want you to feel sorry for me, because, I believe everyone will
die someday.
My name is Mr. Thomas Grey, a merchant in London, but presently taking
treatment in Dubai, in the United Arab Emirates. now. I have been
diagnosed with Prostate and Esophageala cancer that was discovered very
late due to my uncaring attitude for my health. It has defiled all form of
medicine and right now, I have only about a few months to live
according to medical experts. I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I
never really cared for anyone not even myself but my business. Though I
am very rich, I was never generous, I was always hostile to people and
only focus on my business as that was the only thing I cared for. But
now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than
just wanting to have or make all the money in the world. I believe when God
gives me a second chance to come to this world I would live my life a
different way from how I have lived it. Now that I know my time is
near, I have willed and given most of my properties and assets to my
immediate and extended family members and as well as a few close
friends. I have decided to give alms to charity organizations, as I want this to
be one of the last good deeds I did on earth.

So far, I have distributed money to some charity organizations in the
United Arab Emirates, London and Ireland. Now that my health has
deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this my self any more. I once asked
members of my family to close one of my accounts and donate the money which I
have there to charity organization in Bulgaria, they refused and kept
the money to themselves. Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as they
seem not to be contended with what I have left for them.

The last of my money which is the huge cash deposit that l have with
security firm abroad. I will want you to help me collect this deposit
and
dispatched it to charity organizations and let them know that it is I
Thomas Grey that is making this generous donation. I am writing this
from my laptop computer in my hospital bed where I wait for my time to
come.

You can reply me through my private email address:
thomas_grey7@yahoo.co.uk

As soon as l received your sincere response l shall hence disclose all vital details to you.
I pray for you to support and assist me with good heart.

Be blessed my beloved,

Thomas Grey.

Another rant - facial hair

One word - gross. Really scuzzy looking. No one should even have to look at that. Yuck. As context, again, public transport is killing me. There are all these people who are really unattractive, and I know, they can't do anything about that, but they can do something about their gross facial hair that is covering up for insecurities about masculinity. And yeah, it's kind of obvious that's what's going on when you look like these people do. Sure, that's offensive. But I've been studying too long and my brain has turned in on itself. And it turns my stomach to have to look at some of these people - particularly when they stare at me - yuck! so gross!

Standing on the train

On the subway, there is this class of people who insist on standing up before their stops. The logic, as far as I understand it, goes something like, well I am getting off at this stop so I'll go stand closer to the door. Note the prominence of "I" in that logic and the failure to recognize the "public" in "public transportation."
Why do I care? If you've ever been on a semi-crowded train and you have a brain, you should know. These people struggle to stand up, typically right as the train accelerates and it is hardest to maintain balance. Or if already standing, they take this opportunity to press their way forward. These moves force those around them to adjust their balance and move, again, at a most inopportune time. So, for example, as a passenger in the way of these folk, you're forced to stand up for absolutely no reason and maintain your balance, or you're forced to let go of whatever your hand is gripping to prevent you from flying to the other end of the train. Then there is the way these actions increase the clumping of people around the door.
The really galling part about this is that there is no reason whatsoever for this. On a really really crowded train, like I used to take to work in London, you actually do have to move towards the door if you're in the middle or you'll miss your stop. First off, I've never even seen a train that required that kind of maneuvering in Chicago. Ever. Second, if you're going to do that, you have to do the moving either when the train is stopped or, alternatively, if it's a rather advanced sort of train, when it is at a comfortable cruising speed. But that's it, basta.

Getting stuff with my photography on it

I've opened up a cafe press shop where you can buy stuff with certain of my photos, including framed prints (not sure on the quality...I plan to offer framed photos independently soon) - right now, it's just the Galapagos seal photo on this blog page, but I plan to expand with some of my other travel photography. Visit and enjoy!

Food pellets

I've frequently been disappointed by the lack of progress we've made towards a Tomorrowland-type reality - the lack of everyday jet packs is a particular pet peeve of mine but even more critical is the lack of a food pellet, or a meal pill, that could simply be taken as a substitute for meals. I enjoy food to a certain extent, but I would definitely prefer to not have to make the effort to think about what to eat, preparing, shopping for food, determining appropriate portions etc. Think of the time that could be saved if instead of sitting down for meals we popped a few pills with a glass of water and went on our merry ways? Also, this way we could assure that we would be getting all the appropriate nutrients - it could end world hunger as we know it. So again, I ask the scientific community, why haven't we figured out the mechanism for the meal pill? It seemed like Wonka was getting pretty close with his meal gum (see the demise of Violet Beauregarde in the original charlie and the chocolate factory).

Another argument for my ADD-ness

The anecdotal evidence that coffee is calming in kiddies with ADD. I am currently drinking coffee as I started having an anxiety attack over an administrative issue that cannot even be addressed until a workday (e.g., tomorrow, but in any case, not today).
The book I use to explain most of my odd reactions to things tells me that in mice lacking certain adenosine receptors (A2a), caffeine had only a depressant effect and caffeine leads to a release of dopamine in the prefrontal cortex. If this is my problem, however (according to the mice at least) I should have improved spatial recognition abilities, which is not the case. However, the mice also indicate that I should be more anxious and aggressive than other similarly-placed mice, which is clearly the case.
Furthermore, a lot of adenosine building up in the basal forebrain causes sleepiness and makes it last longer (I've always slept ridiculous amounts).
I'll have to return to this on-line self-diagnosis later.

India v. Australia

The main battle appear to be disease versus boredom. In that order. A number of people I met for the first time today assured me that should I travel to India, I would become ill, and that nevertheless I should definitely go. I am kind of certain that Australia would bore me a bit. However, perhaps I could do a lot of yoga and become one with myself and zen and such. The idea of becoming violently ill is extremely unappealing. Also, having spent the day in the sun, I really don't want to be in the sun at all ever again and so that sort of makes both options less palatable. I burned in an odd square on my arm. It is ridiculous.

Sympathy

So on my daily hour-long walks I've been noticing that there is a certain percentage of the female population that lacks an ass. The person in the picture has a larger ass than the person I saw today. I walk very quickly and usually end up directly behind people who are swervers (most people swerve slightly when they walk but certain people are like drunkards) and then notice oddities, like a flat ass. And wow, is that an unattractive look. I don't think I have any friends with this particular affliction so I'm not familiar with it. But honestly, it kind of freaks me out, the way someone with an extreme physical deformity might make you nervous. I think I may be out and out biased against these people, thinking they have odd personalities and may even be a subset of the aliens that have invaded the planet (another topic for another time, but you can tell the aliens by their unusually bright blue eyes, see, e.g., Justice Roberts). But seriously, what's up with the flat ass thing? It tends to correspond to a rather boxy body, so I don't know if it's just a boy-ish thing or some sort of darwinian evolution thing I don't get (another topic for another time is my inability to fully apply darwinian theories of evolution to the existence of all things in the world, something that has on occasion kept me up at night. oh, the confusion). But in conclusion, I feel quite bad for these people because it kind of looks like a random part of the body has become concave.

More on beez

I've been rather fascinated with this thing about bee colonies dying off. Reading the nyt article caused me to realize that my knowledge of bees was limited to what they told us on a class trip to the zoo in like 2nd grade. And I certainly never knew it could be a business to rent out bees to pollinate agriculture.
Since I'm skewing back into an increased energy period (positive thoughts on that) finding a detailed publication on bees has really distracted me from other critical work.
Initially this seemed like an excellent pastime for me, being as one is supposed to begin in late spring/early summer (prime time for my random projects)but as the detailed publication properly points out, bee keeping is not an appropriate activity for people who are allergic to bee stings. Fair enough. It also would be difficult to keep a bee colony in my one-bedroom apartment. If I had a yard it appears that by properly providing a source of water and choosing bees bred for calmness, I might be able to raise bees in an urban-ish environment. Regardless, this is clearly ripe for a sitcom plot.
However, as I indicated in an earlier post, I briefly feared that bees were living in my walls, and it is good that this was not the case as it evidently would normally require removing all the siding. I don't actually know what siding is, but I'm betting this would be an involved project. Not to mention all the other political concerns, e.g., "Solutions to the complex bee/bear conflict are highly political, expensive, and have not been totally effective." Indeed.

Important News Update

Disneyland's submarine ride is back. Not that I managed to notice it was gone, but this was really one of the classics, up there with the people mover, which evidently has also closed. What made both of these rides delightful was that they were absolutely ridiculous kitsch, almost painfully so.

Also, love the accidental and personal reply-alls to 40 strangers. Seriously, this late in the e-mail game? How is it even possible? Inquiring minds want to know.

An urgent message from the year 2038!

I have a lot of trouble understanding why my yahoo mail system even delivers mail that is dated as coming from 2038. About half my spam on any given day comes from 2038, and it is generally the most egregious, the kind of stuff that if you didn't know terribly much about internet scams, might think was legitimate. What would be far more entertaining would be if these 2038 spammers actually claimed to be from the future - such that the offer of a "Free t-mobile sidekick" would make sense, as the market value for such an item in 2038 would have to be essentially nonexistant. So someone in 2038 finds a time capsule full of these goods from 2007 and decides to make an honest buck off it through time travel email. The shipping might be an issue, though. Even if they offered tracking, we plebs of 2007 likely couldn't use their tracking system. We would be very easy to scam. Imagine the nightline exposes of the latest internet scam, free commercial goods from the future!

In other news, they mean it when they say don't use alcohol to take your medications. Wow, do they mean it.

Microlending...

is awesome. Finally found the link I've been looking for: Kiva. You have hands on real live microlending. And you embrace the modern internet marketplace.

Decision-making

I'm not much of a decision-maker. It's not that I'm indecisive, it's just that I don't get to the point where you actually make the decision. I tend to make decisions spontaneously, based on gut instinct or irrelevant factors. The stuff I really have to think through, weigh the possibilities and all that, the hard ones, cause me great distress because it matters and I need to figure out a way to choose between two options, a way to get to that fork in the road where I make the decision. I'm very good at helping other people through this process but refuse to listen to my own advice when it is my life that is concerned. I pretty consistently refuse to take my own, extremely well-thought out, rational, emotionally-balanced, advice. I suppose it's hard to balance emotions when you're trying to balance yourself.

Educating yourself for the man

Anyone else out there find these complaints from corporate interests about how college graduates are unprepared to do what employers want them to do offensive and irrelevant? Why is the education of our students about preparing them to be corporate slaves? What about developing the individual, the spirit, expanding the mind, preparing people to be future leaders, letting them discover their own directions and souls? How further backwards towards the days when only the highest social and economic classes were properly educated are we going to go? And the corollary question of how much are average Americans willing to tolerate in terms of having their lives be used as cogs in a machine?

Art influences life

Borderline ironic that watching Babel has led me to decide against a previous decision to vacation in Morocco. It looked so charming in the Ab Fab episode when they went to film a commercial.

parochialism

I've been feeling very critical lately of the fact that many people, in this day and age, still propagate separatism based on race or religion, and honestly believe they are justified. In particular, I am disappointed by "minority" groups whose members feel that their separatism is justified, despite the damage caused by separatism on the part of other groups in society. Particularly those who actively exclude non-members. I don't feel a real need to justify my opinion and have listened to many counter-arguments, none of which are persuasive. Limiting oneself due to parochialism is wrong, regardless of the form it takes and regardless of heritage.
However, I would like to share that the least impressive argument comes in the form of "you wouldn't understand...," inevitably due to the fact that I happen not to share some point of heritage with the speaker. It's possible that indeed, I could never understand, but one of the points and advantages of living in a modern society is that we all integrate. Not only do we not put people at the back of the bus, we also don't all group ourselves voluntarily into exclusionary cliques based on race and religion. It's not natural for people of any heritage to integrate, but a good number of us have managed to see flaws in applying the logic of our ancestors to our modern situation. The rest of you should bloody grow up.

Bar review

The remarkable thing about bar review is that it turns out that the way my housemate taught me to study is exactly how barbri is structured. It's very practical.
I'm exhausted. Both physically and mentally.

Laughter

Mozart in Amadeus has the most brilliant laugh. I just adore him.

Similarly, in Jet Set, Guillaume Gallienne's character has a delightful laugh/speech pattern. He is also responsible for my love of saying "j'adore, j'adore, j'adore" without any reference explaining the source of the comment. I just get so irritated when I have to explain things, even when they couldn't possibly be obvious to others. It just creates this bad feeling in my stomach - it ruins the high associated with being on an endless tangent of random thoughts and associations unless I'm bordering on manic, in which case it just encourages my tangentialism.

More Riesling...

Today's low-quality rielsing is rosemount. A little less acidic, but you really can't tell there is sugar in here. However, the base of the bottle (not the rest) is square, which is really cool.
I'm tired lately, I suppose going through the motions of progression from lots of energy to no energy, but I don't like it. I prefer endless energy. I suppose everyone would if possible. So why are scientists not focusing on this? Currently the problem is that everything that encourages energy is addictive and as a result, highly regulated by the FDA. Perhaps the reason for this is that the body is really better as a result of endless energy and so the addiction to energy is good? The interesting part about the drug problem is that it is a problem because people who are (this whole thing is my opinion but I want to reinforce that this is my opinion here) naturally prone to addiction become addicted, a certain percentage of those people create problems, and we focus all our energy on that small percentage. We never discuss the number of people who try drugs and don't become addicted, or who become addicted but manage to get by. Is so much energy, so much pain, the cost of incarceration of small time dealers, is everything associated with the fight on drugs responsible given the real effect that drugs have on a certain percentage of the population? Just from a practical perspective, it probably makes no sense to have a war on drugs, since such a small percentage of Americans actually use drugs and then cost the country money as a result of that use. In fact, I posit that it is impossible that the war on drugs is economically justifiable. I don't doubt that if you rearrange the priorities, it is justifiable, but lets associate our justification with reality, whenever possible, 'kay? The reality is that many many people use drugs casually without cost to the US government. I just object to the use of my tax dollars for this purpose.

Free Speech

The People vs. Larry Flynt

I can't believe I just saw this movie now. Touching, brilliant, tragic, and even a supreme court view!

Riesling

For years, my drink of choice was red wine. It started giving me headaches. I focused on beer. It started making me exhausted and giving me headaches. So I switched to white wine. I don't really like white wine, and that's how I ended up with Riesling. It makes the white wine a little more bearable - you know, a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. Currently I'm on a $9 bottle of Jacob's Creek Riesling, Vintage 2006, from southern Australia. At least it goes down easier than the sake.

Movie binge

I like to do things to excess. Even if I didn't like it, that's who I am. Sometimes I do nothing, then I do lots of things. Right now is a "lots of things" time. In the past two days I've seen:
--> The Pursuit of Happyness (Widescreen Edition) (ok);
--> Catch & Release(disturbing, but the celestial seasonings thing was awesome);
--> Freedom Writers (Widescreen Edition)(ok);
--> Auntie Mame (most excellent);
--> Born into Brothels (good - but a documentary so appreciation will vary);
--> Being There (bizarre).
--> Music and Lyrics (Widescreen Edition) (awesome)
--> The Last King of Scotland (Widescreen Edition) (good)
--> Failure to Launch (Special Collector's Edition) (prosaic hollywood)
--> The Queen (over-hyped)

UPDATE:
--> Borat - Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (Widescreen Edition) (okay, but not nearly as good as I thought would be)
--> Bend It Like Beckham (Widescreen Edition) (brilliant)
--> Amadeus (brilliant - another I can't believe I just saw now)
--> Orange County (Ws Sub) (okay)
--> The Weather Underground (wow. basically someone let spoiled self-involved white kids get totally out of control. what idiots)
--> Blood Diamond (Widescreen Edition) (good)
--> Bride and Prejudice (boring, almost inexplicably, but I was totally bored)
--> Babel (hmmm. kind of like traffic, if traffic weren't compelling and were more concerned with politics and cinematography than the story. oh, and over-hyped)
--> Declining by Degrees: Higher Education at Risk (interesting documentary that kind of hits the wrong points on what's wrong with higher education)
--> Akeelah and the Bee (Widescreen Edition) (beautiful. makes you cry in a happy way)


I pseudo-watched the following, which I though I hadn't seen previously, but was mistaken:
--> Vanity Fair (2004) (Widescreen)
--> 21 Grams

“Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death.” Auntie Mame

Oh the morals of this film. You raise children and they turn into exactly what you hate the most, then eventually they come around. And you must have fun, even though everyone will try to stop you. Oh, and a lot of the "real" people out there are awful individuals, modern versions of people who believe in restricted communities, as it were.

Scam emails

I find these deeply amusing. I received my first one literally as I returned to my desk from an office training on recognizing and stopping money laundering. How we laughed. Last year I decided it would be fun to lead one of these people on for a while and opened up a yahoo account with a spam name (something like xydhsejzzjs@yahoo.com), took on the persona of a lonely teenage girl who worked at a fast food restaurant, was extremely unpopular, and clearly could be of no use to him. He wrote back.
Lately, I've been finding them more offensive, as I did with the one below - I'm not sure what's going on here (oh, and the "to" address is not mine...):

From:	"Mrs. Babara Irene Hanff"
To:	charity@beloved-christcentral.com
Subject:	Dearly Beloved In Christ!!!!
Date:	Tue, 15 May 2007 19:30:38 -0400

Dear Friend,

I am the above named person undergoing medical treatment now. I was
married to Dr. Peter Hanff who worked with erithean Embassy in Poland as a
diplomat and a business man for over 6 years before his untimely death
in the year December 2004 We were married for eleven years without a
child. He died after a brief  illness that lasted for only four days.

Before his death we were both  Christians. Since his death I decided
not to re-marry or get a child outside  my matrimonial home, which my
religion is against. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum
of$20 Million (twenty million U.S. Dollars) with one finance/security
office in Europe.

Presently, this money is still with the Security/Finance Company.
Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next three months
due to cancer problem. Though what disturbs me most is my stroke.
Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a foundation or
better still a Christian individual that will utilize this money the way
I am going to instruct here in. I want an individual that will use this
to fund missions, orphanages and widows and other good charity deeds
The Bible made us tounderstand that blessed is the hand that gives.

I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit
this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don't want
my husbands hard earned money to be misused by unbelievers. I don't
want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner, hence
the reason for taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of death
hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of
the Lord.  Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the lord will fight my case and I
shall hold my peace. I don??need any telephone communication in this
regard because of my health, and because of the presence of my husband's
relatives around me always.

I don't want them to know about this development. As soon as I receive
your reply I shall give you the contact of the Finance/Security Company
Europe. I will also issue you a letter of authority that will empower
you as the original- beneficiary of this fund. I want you to always pray
for me because the lord is my shepherd. My happiness is that I lived a
life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must
serve him in spirit and truth. Please always be prayerful all through
your life.

Understand that we must keep this contact secret as possible that way
we can be focused on the fact that you have claimed the money
successfully and commence on what we have discussed Any delay in your reply will
give me room in sourcing for a reliable individual for this same
purpose.

.Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated
herein.Please reply me through my private email: babara_hanff@yahoo.com.hk

Remain blessed
Mrs. Babara Irene Hanff

What I'm reading...

Daughters of the Shtetl.
It caught the attention of the customs official, who once I started explaining what the book was about, was quick to move me on through...It's a book my younger brother was evidently assigned for a class and accordingly marked about 4 paragraphs and certainly didn't read any of it apart from the first 2 pages (this leads me to believe this is a genetic tendency and not one I can be personally held responsible for). It's a graduate study focused on Jewish Russian (from the Pale generally) immigrants who came to the United States and then began working as laborers, frequently garment workers. The main flaw in the book is its attempt to bring some perspective by discussing almost exclusively Italian workers - I recognize the laziness - she should have done a more comprehensive survey and looked at immigrant groups who arrived at different times but in similar waves and with similar levels of unskilled employment and compared those. However, it is very engaging and written in a way that makes what would otherwise be tedious a very good read, even hard to put down.

Vacay

So, was on vacay. I travel a lot, as a dear friend of mine just put it, my job is interfering with my travel lifestyle. But why do people travel? Over the years I've met a handful of people who don't enjoy/have little to no interest in travel. Is it fear over the unknown? Lack of certain thinking capabilities and hence a certain lack of imagination? Or the most insidious, a lack of interest? It makes me fearful for the state of the universe to imagine that someone could simply be uninterested in the ways of the rest of the world. I suppose a lot of people like their lives, like the way they work, and aren't terribly interested in how other people might do things. And in fact, this group can be lumped together with a group of "check the box" tourists who travel regularly, but who do so to say they have been places and done things. But there's a group of us who are reinvigorated every time we see a new structure of streets, a new tendency towards work clothes, a new way to stand on a bus, new rules about queuing, a different attitude towards rain (resulting, inevitably, from the different types of rain people experience - something I've learned over the years) and all those little things that give the most nominal insight into oneself, one's decisions, and one's culture, through the comparision to another.
It's the part of travel people tend not to talk about, an experience they sometimes don't even realize they've had. Personally, I think my need for travel stems from a practical response to an overdeveloped fight-or-flight (read chemical imbalance) response. If I don't travel, I feel more and more boxed-in and tend to rebel excessively to try to make the feeling of sameness go away. I just need the influx of the new - I've been stopping myself from disappearing into the world for most of my life, primarily by reading, which does a very similar thing to travel.

Biblical musings

So while I was procrastinating, I started reading the bible, part of it having been assigned reading for a class. And wow, is it wild. Leviticus in particular is just off-the-hook crazy. Like, I'm not that clear on the, okay to eat locusts, but no to escargot. There is also far more on specifics of how to deal with signs of leprosy than on dietary restrictions, which kind of makes you wonder...like the leprosy thing, not so important anymore, so why is it there? I know that seems a little circular, but if this is a book to address everything through all of mankind, what about more modern diseases and how to deal humanely with those with illness? I actually just think leviticus as a whole should go out the window - it's kind of cuckoo for coca puffs. Plus they don't even enforce the, you're not allowed in the temple if you only have one testicle thing anymore.
But the really interesting part is the interpretation. Most of what I read involves imposing values onto the religious text, regardless of what the text actually says. Being a literature prodigy, I know all about interpretation and about how far you can go. I actually know because when something is wrong with an interpretation or solution, there is a feeling in my stomach that tells me (yes, that is serious. and it works. it's never failed me). But drawing larger significance from simple rules is actually, I think, wrong. I think it is wrong to take a holy text, project your opinions onto it, thereby forcing them onto others who feel that not accepting the interpretation is a rejection of the text and ergo, of the religion. I mean, I could anoint myself as a religious figure and say that the whole testicle thing actually referred to undescended testicles and the fact that this interferes with testosterone production and general malfunction and so suggested that people who were unable to procreate weren't welcome in the flock. It matches with the getting rids of the lepers thing. The modern interpretation is that the weak should be weeded out and those who cannot contribute should not be allowed to use precious resources, such as fertile women. But I kind of doubt we'll see that one anywhere...

Skool sux

Skool is really lame. Totally lame. About as lame as the debt integration rules that provide that a qualifying debt instrument when combined with a section 1256 contract will qualify as an integrated instrument if the cash flows of the separate components are substantially equivalent to the cash flows on a fixed or variable rate debt instrument.
Don't make the mistake of confusing the qualifying debt instrument with the qualified debt instrument - Hah! as if you could! Mix up I.R.C. 988 and I.R.C. 1275! But seriously folks...am on the verge of throwing myself out a window.

the pres...

As anticipated. He looks a little more like a freak here than normally. (from the iht)

Silly travel guides

As someone who travels frequently on my own, I actually know better than to buy a bad travel guide. However, I've recently developed an unfortunate addiction to the Phaidon wallpaper guides. They're very silly and more for someone who is going to be touring around with a private driver or a tour guide who is basically to help you navigate the language and such. But they summarize a city into a handful of things to see and places to eat and sleep, with lots of pictures. It's a very un-American travel guide - one thing I really respect about Americans is that when they travel, they travel like responsible adults. They try to hit all the sites, see the nightlife, take in the atmosphere. They're really good, solid people, Americans. But there's something delectable in seeing a foreign city as a self-indulgent playground. Something hysterical in having conversations with people about cities of millions as though there were only 4 hotels and 10 restaurants. I mean, it's really very funny, at least if you can keep from laughing out loud. You have to keep the laughter inside for this kind of stuff and instead pretend as though you are just a happy person who doesn't realize how small and insular your sad little version of the world is.
And yes, I do often wish I didn't have the inability to stop the constant overwhelming analysis of the world and its stimuli. It's like trying to sleep with 3 luxury condos being built outside your window. No, that's really happening. It's more like trying to sleep before an exam you're unprepared for...off to study again :)