Greenland's Greenness

So at some point, Greenland was green. What is so interesting about this is that it is unclear when exactly Greenland was green because the DNA evidence evidently has an error window of up to nearly 700,000 years. I've always had a bit of a hankering to travel to Greenland - it ends up being quite expensive because the travel there tends to be a lot of outdoorsy stuff but I've gotten very close on a number of occasions. In the tourism brochures the locals wear delightfully bright clothing which combined with the arctic nature of things has this sort of wild spirit that I find inspiring. Plus, back in the olden days of airplane travel, Greenland was often a point for planes to stop and refuel on long trips so a lot of people used to randomly end up in Greenland en route to say, Cuba, which makes it all the more quirky. The fact that Denmark owns Greenland is a turn-off, but that there is a local movement to change that adds to all the other wackiness that excites me about Greenland.

Warren Buffett issues death threat

Yeah, it caught my eye too. The actual story, from Motley Fool, is little more than the most basic investing information - I would be a little surprised if a six year old didn't intuitively understand its concepts.
However, I accept this as my life is full of disappointments. For example, I put on the country music station b.c. I really need to be studying and need to not know any of the music I listen to. It turns out that country music is depressing in the way that realizing your parents and teachers are just normal fallible people is depressing. It sort of shows you what humanity is really about. I also can't help but wonder who the people are who surround me in these buildings who are actually listening to and thereby allowing for the existence of this station. Are they like the people in the songs? Are their lives like this? Are these the things they think about, is this the way they talk? In short, the music is depressing and has also not served its purpose of keeping me focused on my work, adding to the depression.

TB guy

is a total whiner. Particularly his family, who i saw briefly at the recent press conference complaining about how people jumped to conclusions and were ruining their family's name. Well, again, your son decided to travel internationally, after he'd been told not to and how dangerous his condition could be to others. The fact that it's slightly less dangerous than previously thought is totally irrelevant. You've raised a self-absorbed irresponsible boy. It seems pretty fair that your family name should be vilified. Of course, what he did was totally reasonable - he was looking out for himself, but if you're going to be totally selfish then you have to accept that some people might react poorly to that. Particularly considering that he knew he was sick before he left the country, as I understand it, it's sort of absurdly self-indulgent to go on a long European vacation. Of course, I'm biased against TB guy because he looks like a skinny loser. Not a fan of skinny.

Pashat

To put it clearly, something is running on my computer. I like to imagine all types of reasons for this, even though the most likely culprit is windows defender, the most voracious program since Acrobat started running ads. I normally assume that one of my friends has decided to invest in one of those programs that pulls keystrokes from remote computers, although, of course, that is absurd b.c. no one would honestly want to read me struggle through the covenants of warranties or watch me search fruitlessly for information that should be on my master bar outline and isn't. Or, in the alternative, if they do want to follow my typing, all the more intriguing. It really might be kind of fascinating to try to put yourself in someone's shoes, like if you get it in real time you would know when they were pausing, like on google talk. And you could speculate endlessly on what they were thinking. But I don't think I know anyone with that kind of free time right now. So, I should probably just do a system scan. Yep-a-strudel.

Ode to emetrol

I didn't know about this remarkable item until relatively recently and it has definitively changed my life. It probably won't change yours because it is unlikely that you have undertreated stomach ailments that probably relate to a genetic stomach ailment that had to be cured by surgery but regardless, what a delight it is. When tums and nexium and anything else I can get my hands on fail to work, there is emetrol. And as far as I can tell, it's just sugar so I can have as much as I want. Plus it provides calories so I don't have to worry about getting those through food (see "Food Pellet" post in June). So Fraser, wherever you are, thank you for letting me know about this when I showed up terribly hungover in your apartment one sunny Sunday morning. I'd send a card, but I honestly have no recollection of where the apartment is.

More scam email

Just so you can see the variety, or lack thereof...a friend told me yesterday that these scammers feel they are justified in stealing money from people. Odd, but in truth, a lot of people who steal are able to tell themselves they're justified. A justification is just a marshaling of certain concepts as necessary facts and placing them in contrast to any given situation. So of course, you can justify anything as long as you start with certain things that justify what you believe, i.e., employ circular logic. Oh, how I know people who do that...

Here writes Madam Susana Kadrlik Cole, suffering from cancerous ailment. When my late husband was alive he the sum of 5Million (Five Million Pound Sterling) which were derived from his vast estates and investment in capital market with International Finance Corporation(IFC) here in UK. Presently, the investment potfolio is still on till 2013. Recently, my Doctor told me that I have limited days to live due to the cancerous problems I am suffering from, So, I decided to contact you due to time limit. Though what bothers me most is the stroke that I have in addition to the cancer. With this hard reality that has befallen my family, and me I have decided to donate this fund to you and want you to use this gift which comes from my husbands effort to fund the upkeep of widows, widowers, orphans, destitute, the down-trodden, physically challenged children, barren-women and persons who prove to be genuinely handicapped financially. It is often said that blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I do not have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are bourgeois and very wealthy persons and I do not want my husband hard earned money to be misused or invested into ill perceived ventures. I do not want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner, hence the reason for taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be with the Almighty when I eventually pass on. The Almighty will fight my case and I shall hold my peace. I do not need any telephone communication in this regard due to my deteriorating health and because of the presence of my husband relatives around me. I do not want them to know about this development. With God all things are possible. I want you to stand as the new beneficiary to the funds. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the International Finance Corporation (IFC) where the portfolio investment. I will also send you a Change of Custodian and Premature Investment Portfolio Liduidation Form that will empower you as the new the custodian and beneficiary of this fund. My happiness is that I lived a life worthy of emulation. Please always be prayerful all through your life. Please assure me that you will act just as I have stated herein. Hope to hear from you soon and God bless you and members of your family. Endeavor to send me your names, address, telephone and fax number to enable contact you with more details/ all the relevant documents by email/ fax. Yours sincerely Madam Susana Kadrlik Cole. Reply email: su.cole@hotmail.com

And another...

Dear Friend,

This letter may come to you as a surprise due to the fact that we have
not yet met.
After searching through your country's Chamber of Commerce and industry
here in Dubai I am contacting you to assist me, I have to say that I
have no intentions of causing you any pains as you read this.

I don't want you to feel sorry for me, because, I believe everyone will
die someday.
My name is Mr. Thomas Grey, a merchant in London, but presently taking
treatment in Dubai, in the United Arab Emirates. now. I have been
diagnosed with Prostate and Esophageala cancer that was discovered very
late due to my uncaring attitude for my health. It has defiled all form of
medicine and right now, I have only about a few months to live
according to medical experts. I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I
never really cared for anyone not even myself but my business. Though I
am very rich, I was never generous, I was always hostile to people and
only focus on my business as that was the only thing I cared for. But
now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than
just wanting to have or make all the money in the world. I believe when God
gives me a second chance to come to this world I would live my life a
different way from how I have lived it. Now that I know my time is
near, I have willed and given most of my properties and assets to my
immediate and extended family members and as well as a few close
friends. I have decided to give alms to charity organizations, as I want this to
be one of the last good deeds I did on earth.

So far, I have distributed money to some charity organizations in the
United Arab Emirates, London and Ireland. Now that my health has
deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this my self any more. I once asked
members of my family to close one of my accounts and donate the money which I
have there to charity organization in Bulgaria, they refused and kept
the money to themselves. Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as they
seem not to be contended with what I have left for them.

The last of my money which is the huge cash deposit that l have with
security firm abroad. I will want you to help me collect this deposit
and
dispatched it to charity organizations and let them know that it is I
Thomas Grey that is making this generous donation. I am writing this
from my laptop computer in my hospital bed where I wait for my time to
come.

You can reply me through my private email address:
thomas_grey7@yahoo.co.uk

As soon as l received your sincere response l shall hence disclose all vital details to you.
I pray for you to support and assist me with good heart.

Be blessed my beloved,

Thomas Grey.

Another rant - facial hair

One word - gross. Really scuzzy looking. No one should even have to look at that. Yuck. As context, again, public transport is killing me. There are all these people who are really unattractive, and I know, they can't do anything about that, but they can do something about their gross facial hair that is covering up for insecurities about masculinity. And yeah, it's kind of obvious that's what's going on when you look like these people do. Sure, that's offensive. But I've been studying too long and my brain has turned in on itself. And it turns my stomach to have to look at some of these people - particularly when they stare at me - yuck! so gross!

Standing on the train

On the subway, there is this class of people who insist on standing up before their stops. The logic, as far as I understand it, goes something like, well I am getting off at this stop so I'll go stand closer to the door. Note the prominence of "I" in that logic and the failure to recognize the "public" in "public transportation."
Why do I care? If you've ever been on a semi-crowded train and you have a brain, you should know. These people struggle to stand up, typically right as the train accelerates and it is hardest to maintain balance. Or if already standing, they take this opportunity to press their way forward. These moves force those around them to adjust their balance and move, again, at a most inopportune time. So, for example, as a passenger in the way of these folk, you're forced to stand up for absolutely no reason and maintain your balance, or you're forced to let go of whatever your hand is gripping to prevent you from flying to the other end of the train. Then there is the way these actions increase the clumping of people around the door.
The really galling part about this is that there is no reason whatsoever for this. On a really really crowded train, like I used to take to work in London, you actually do have to move towards the door if you're in the middle or you'll miss your stop. First off, I've never even seen a train that required that kind of maneuvering in Chicago. Ever. Second, if you're going to do that, you have to do the moving either when the train is stopped or, alternatively, if it's a rather advanced sort of train, when it is at a comfortable cruising speed. But that's it, basta.

Getting stuff with my photography on it

I've opened up a cafe press shop where you can buy stuff with certain of my photos, including framed prints (not sure on the quality...I plan to offer framed photos independently soon) - right now, it's just the Galapagos seal photo on this blog page, but I plan to expand with some of my other travel photography. Visit and enjoy!

Food pellets

I've frequently been disappointed by the lack of progress we've made towards a Tomorrowland-type reality - the lack of everyday jet packs is a particular pet peeve of mine but even more critical is the lack of a food pellet, or a meal pill, that could simply be taken as a substitute for meals. I enjoy food to a certain extent, but I would definitely prefer to not have to make the effort to think about what to eat, preparing, shopping for food, determining appropriate portions etc. Think of the time that could be saved if instead of sitting down for meals we popped a few pills with a glass of water and went on our merry ways? Also, this way we could assure that we would be getting all the appropriate nutrients - it could end world hunger as we know it. So again, I ask the scientific community, why haven't we figured out the mechanism for the meal pill? It seemed like Wonka was getting pretty close with his meal gum (see the demise of Violet Beauregarde in the original charlie and the chocolate factory).

Another argument for my ADD-ness

The anecdotal evidence that coffee is calming in kiddies with ADD. I am currently drinking coffee as I started having an anxiety attack over an administrative issue that cannot even be addressed until a workday (e.g., tomorrow, but in any case, not today).
The book I use to explain most of my odd reactions to things tells me that in mice lacking certain adenosine receptors (A2a), caffeine had only a depressant effect and caffeine leads to a release of dopamine in the prefrontal cortex. If this is my problem, however (according to the mice at least) I should have improved spatial recognition abilities, which is not the case. However, the mice also indicate that I should be more anxious and aggressive than other similarly-placed mice, which is clearly the case.
Furthermore, a lot of adenosine building up in the basal forebrain causes sleepiness and makes it last longer (I've always slept ridiculous amounts).
I'll have to return to this on-line self-diagnosis later.

India v. Australia

The main battle appear to be disease versus boredom. In that order. A number of people I met for the first time today assured me that should I travel to India, I would become ill, and that nevertheless I should definitely go. I am kind of certain that Australia would bore me a bit. However, perhaps I could do a lot of yoga and become one with myself and zen and such. The idea of becoming violently ill is extremely unappealing. Also, having spent the day in the sun, I really don't want to be in the sun at all ever again and so that sort of makes both options less palatable. I burned in an odd square on my arm. It is ridiculous.

Sympathy

So on my daily hour-long walks I've been noticing that there is a certain percentage of the female population that lacks an ass. The person in the picture has a larger ass than the person I saw today. I walk very quickly and usually end up directly behind people who are swervers (most people swerve slightly when they walk but certain people are like drunkards) and then notice oddities, like a flat ass. And wow, is that an unattractive look. I don't think I have any friends with this particular affliction so I'm not familiar with it. But honestly, it kind of freaks me out, the way someone with an extreme physical deformity might make you nervous. I think I may be out and out biased against these people, thinking they have odd personalities and may even be a subset of the aliens that have invaded the planet (another topic for another time, but you can tell the aliens by their unusually bright blue eyes, see, e.g., Justice Roberts). But seriously, what's up with the flat ass thing? It tends to correspond to a rather boxy body, so I don't know if it's just a boy-ish thing or some sort of darwinian evolution thing I don't get (another topic for another time is my inability to fully apply darwinian theories of evolution to the existence of all things in the world, something that has on occasion kept me up at night. oh, the confusion). But in conclusion, I feel quite bad for these people because it kind of looks like a random part of the body has become concave.

More on beez

I've been rather fascinated with this thing about bee colonies dying off. Reading the nyt article caused me to realize that my knowledge of bees was limited to what they told us on a class trip to the zoo in like 2nd grade. And I certainly never knew it could be a business to rent out bees to pollinate agriculture.
Since I'm skewing back into an increased energy period (positive thoughts on that) finding a detailed publication on bees has really distracted me from other critical work.
Initially this seemed like an excellent pastime for me, being as one is supposed to begin in late spring/early summer (prime time for my random projects)but as the detailed publication properly points out, bee keeping is not an appropriate activity for people who are allergic to bee stings. Fair enough. It also would be difficult to keep a bee colony in my one-bedroom apartment. If I had a yard it appears that by properly providing a source of water and choosing bees bred for calmness, I might be able to raise bees in an urban-ish environment. Regardless, this is clearly ripe for a sitcom plot.
However, as I indicated in an earlier post, I briefly feared that bees were living in my walls, and it is good that this was not the case as it evidently would normally require removing all the siding. I don't actually know what siding is, but I'm betting this would be an involved project. Not to mention all the other political concerns, e.g., "Solutions to the complex bee/bear conflict are highly political, expensive, and have not been totally effective." Indeed.

Important News Update

Disneyland's submarine ride is back. Not that I managed to notice it was gone, but this was really one of the classics, up there with the people mover, which evidently has also closed. What made both of these rides delightful was that they were absolutely ridiculous kitsch, almost painfully so.

Also, love the accidental and personal reply-alls to 40 strangers. Seriously, this late in the e-mail game? How is it even possible? Inquiring minds want to know.

An urgent message from the year 2038!

I have a lot of trouble understanding why my yahoo mail system even delivers mail that is dated as coming from 2038. About half my spam on any given day comes from 2038, and it is generally the most egregious, the kind of stuff that if you didn't know terribly much about internet scams, might think was legitimate. What would be far more entertaining would be if these 2038 spammers actually claimed to be from the future - such that the offer of a "Free t-mobile sidekick" would make sense, as the market value for such an item in 2038 would have to be essentially nonexistant. So someone in 2038 finds a time capsule full of these goods from 2007 and decides to make an honest buck off it through time travel email. The shipping might be an issue, though. Even if they offered tracking, we plebs of 2007 likely couldn't use their tracking system. We would be very easy to scam. Imagine the nightline exposes of the latest internet scam, free commercial goods from the future!

In other news, they mean it when they say don't use alcohol to take your medications. Wow, do they mean it.

Microlending...

is awesome. Finally found the link I've been looking for: Kiva. You have hands on real live microlending. And you embrace the modern internet marketplace.

Decision-making

I'm not much of a decision-maker. It's not that I'm indecisive, it's just that I don't get to the point where you actually make the decision. I tend to make decisions spontaneously, based on gut instinct or irrelevant factors. The stuff I really have to think through, weigh the possibilities and all that, the hard ones, cause me great distress because it matters and I need to figure out a way to choose between two options, a way to get to that fork in the road where I make the decision. I'm very good at helping other people through this process but refuse to listen to my own advice when it is my life that is concerned. I pretty consistently refuse to take my own, extremely well-thought out, rational, emotionally-balanced, advice. I suppose it's hard to balance emotions when you're trying to balance yourself.

Educating yourself for the man

Anyone else out there find these complaints from corporate interests about how college graduates are unprepared to do what employers want them to do offensive and irrelevant? Why is the education of our students about preparing them to be corporate slaves? What about developing the individual, the spirit, expanding the mind, preparing people to be future leaders, letting them discover their own directions and souls? How further backwards towards the days when only the highest social and economic classes were properly educated are we going to go? And the corollary question of how much are average Americans willing to tolerate in terms of having their lives be used as cogs in a machine?

Art influences life

Borderline ironic that watching Babel has led me to decide against a previous decision to vacation in Morocco. It looked so charming in the Ab Fab episode when they went to film a commercial.

parochialism

I've been feeling very critical lately of the fact that many people, in this day and age, still propagate separatism based on race or religion, and honestly believe they are justified. In particular, I am disappointed by "minority" groups whose members feel that their separatism is justified, despite the damage caused by separatism on the part of other groups in society. Particularly those who actively exclude non-members. I don't feel a real need to justify my opinion and have listened to many counter-arguments, none of which are persuasive. Limiting oneself due to parochialism is wrong, regardless of the form it takes and regardless of heritage.
However, I would like to share that the least impressive argument comes in the form of "you wouldn't understand...," inevitably due to the fact that I happen not to share some point of heritage with the speaker. It's possible that indeed, I could never understand, but one of the points and advantages of living in a modern society is that we all integrate. Not only do we not put people at the back of the bus, we also don't all group ourselves voluntarily into exclusionary cliques based on race and religion. It's not natural for people of any heritage to integrate, but a good number of us have managed to see flaws in applying the logic of our ancestors to our modern situation. The rest of you should bloody grow up.

Bar review

The remarkable thing about bar review is that it turns out that the way my housemate taught me to study is exactly how barbri is structured. It's very practical.
I'm exhausted. Both physically and mentally.

Laughter

Mozart in Amadeus has the most brilliant laugh. I just adore him.

Similarly, in Jet Set, Guillaume Gallienne's character has a delightful laugh/speech pattern. He is also responsible for my love of saying "j'adore, j'adore, j'adore" without any reference explaining the source of the comment. I just get so irritated when I have to explain things, even when they couldn't possibly be obvious to others. It just creates this bad feeling in my stomach - it ruins the high associated with being on an endless tangent of random thoughts and associations unless I'm bordering on manic, in which case it just encourages my tangentialism.

More Riesling...

Today's low-quality rielsing is rosemount. A little less acidic, but you really can't tell there is sugar in here. However, the base of the bottle (not the rest) is square, which is really cool.
I'm tired lately, I suppose going through the motions of progression from lots of energy to no energy, but I don't like it. I prefer endless energy. I suppose everyone would if possible. So why are scientists not focusing on this? Currently the problem is that everything that encourages energy is addictive and as a result, highly regulated by the FDA. Perhaps the reason for this is that the body is really better as a result of endless energy and so the addiction to energy is good? The interesting part about the drug problem is that it is a problem because people who are (this whole thing is my opinion but I want to reinforce that this is my opinion here) naturally prone to addiction become addicted, a certain percentage of those people create problems, and we focus all our energy on that small percentage. We never discuss the number of people who try drugs and don't become addicted, or who become addicted but manage to get by. Is so much energy, so much pain, the cost of incarceration of small time dealers, is everything associated with the fight on drugs responsible given the real effect that drugs have on a certain percentage of the population? Just from a practical perspective, it probably makes no sense to have a war on drugs, since such a small percentage of Americans actually use drugs and then cost the country money as a result of that use. In fact, I posit that it is impossible that the war on drugs is economically justifiable. I don't doubt that if you rearrange the priorities, it is justifiable, but lets associate our justification with reality, whenever possible, 'kay? The reality is that many many people use drugs casually without cost to the US government. I just object to the use of my tax dollars for this purpose.

Free Speech

The People vs. Larry Flynt

I can't believe I just saw this movie now. Touching, brilliant, tragic, and even a supreme court view!

Riesling

For years, my drink of choice was red wine. It started giving me headaches. I focused on beer. It started making me exhausted and giving me headaches. So I switched to white wine. I don't really like white wine, and that's how I ended up with Riesling. It makes the white wine a little more bearable - you know, a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. Currently I'm on a $9 bottle of Jacob's Creek Riesling, Vintage 2006, from southern Australia. At least it goes down easier than the sake.

Movie binge

I like to do things to excess. Even if I didn't like it, that's who I am. Sometimes I do nothing, then I do lots of things. Right now is a "lots of things" time. In the past two days I've seen:
--> The Pursuit of Happyness (Widescreen Edition) (ok);
--> Catch & Release(disturbing, but the celestial seasonings thing was awesome);
--> Freedom Writers (Widescreen Edition)(ok);
--> Auntie Mame (most excellent);
--> Born into Brothels (good - but a documentary so appreciation will vary);
--> Being There (bizarre).
--> Music and Lyrics (Widescreen Edition) (awesome)
--> The Last King of Scotland (Widescreen Edition) (good)
--> Failure to Launch (Special Collector's Edition) (prosaic hollywood)
--> The Queen (over-hyped)

UPDATE:
--> Borat - Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (Widescreen Edition) (okay, but not nearly as good as I thought would be)
--> Bend It Like Beckham (Widescreen Edition) (brilliant)
--> Amadeus (brilliant - another I can't believe I just saw now)
--> Orange County (Ws Sub) (okay)
--> The Weather Underground (wow. basically someone let spoiled self-involved white kids get totally out of control. what idiots)
--> Blood Diamond (Widescreen Edition) (good)
--> Bride and Prejudice (boring, almost inexplicably, but I was totally bored)
--> Babel (hmmm. kind of like traffic, if traffic weren't compelling and were more concerned with politics and cinematography than the story. oh, and over-hyped)
--> Declining by Degrees: Higher Education at Risk (interesting documentary that kind of hits the wrong points on what's wrong with higher education)
--> Akeelah and the Bee (Widescreen Edition) (beautiful. makes you cry in a happy way)


I pseudo-watched the following, which I though I hadn't seen previously, but was mistaken:
--> Vanity Fair (2004) (Widescreen)
--> 21 Grams

“Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death.” Auntie Mame

Oh the morals of this film. You raise children and they turn into exactly what you hate the most, then eventually they come around. And you must have fun, even though everyone will try to stop you. Oh, and a lot of the "real" people out there are awful individuals, modern versions of people who believe in restricted communities, as it were.

Scam emails

I find these deeply amusing. I received my first one literally as I returned to my desk from an office training on recognizing and stopping money laundering. How we laughed. Last year I decided it would be fun to lead one of these people on for a while and opened up a yahoo account with a spam name (something like xydhsejzzjs@yahoo.com), took on the persona of a lonely teenage girl who worked at a fast food restaurant, was extremely unpopular, and clearly could be of no use to him. He wrote back.
Lately, I've been finding them more offensive, as I did with the one below - I'm not sure what's going on here (oh, and the "to" address is not mine...):

From:	"Mrs. Babara Irene Hanff"
To:	charity@beloved-christcentral.com
Subject:	Dearly Beloved In Christ!!!!
Date:	Tue, 15 May 2007 19:30:38 -0400

Dear Friend,

I am the above named person undergoing medical treatment now. I was
married to Dr. Peter Hanff who worked with erithean Embassy in Poland as a
diplomat and a business man for over 6 years before his untimely death
in the year December 2004 We were married for eleven years without a
child. He died after a brief  illness that lasted for only four days.

Before his death we were both  Christians. Since his death I decided
not to re-marry or get a child outside  my matrimonial home, which my
religion is against. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum
of$20 Million (twenty million U.S. Dollars) with one finance/security
office in Europe.

Presently, this money is still with the Security/Finance Company.
Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next three months
due to cancer problem. Though what disturbs me most is my stroke.
Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a foundation or
better still a Christian individual that will utilize this money the way
I am going to instruct here in. I want an individual that will use this
to fund missions, orphanages and widows and other good charity deeds
The Bible made us tounderstand that blessed is the hand that gives.

I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit
this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don't want
my husbands hard earned money to be misused by unbelievers. I don't
want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner, hence
the reason for taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of death
hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of
the Lord.  Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the lord will fight my case and I
shall hold my peace. I don??need any telephone communication in this
regard because of my health, and because of the presence of my husband's
relatives around me always.

I don't want them to know about this development. As soon as I receive
your reply I shall give you the contact of the Finance/Security Company
Europe. I will also issue you a letter of authority that will empower
you as the original- beneficiary of this fund. I want you to always pray
for me because the lord is my shepherd. My happiness is that I lived a
life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must
serve him in spirit and truth. Please always be prayerful all through
your life.

Understand that we must keep this contact secret as possible that way
we can be focused on the fact that you have claimed the money
successfully and commence on what we have discussed Any delay in your reply will
give me room in sourcing for a reliable individual for this same
purpose.

.Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated
herein.Please reply me through my private email: babara_hanff@yahoo.com.hk

Remain blessed
Mrs. Babara Irene Hanff

What I'm reading...

Daughters of the Shtetl.
It caught the attention of the customs official, who once I started explaining what the book was about, was quick to move me on through...It's a book my younger brother was evidently assigned for a class and accordingly marked about 4 paragraphs and certainly didn't read any of it apart from the first 2 pages (this leads me to believe this is a genetic tendency and not one I can be personally held responsible for). It's a graduate study focused on Jewish Russian (from the Pale generally) immigrants who came to the United States and then began working as laborers, frequently garment workers. The main flaw in the book is its attempt to bring some perspective by discussing almost exclusively Italian workers - I recognize the laziness - she should have done a more comprehensive survey and looked at immigrant groups who arrived at different times but in similar waves and with similar levels of unskilled employment and compared those. However, it is very engaging and written in a way that makes what would otherwise be tedious a very good read, even hard to put down.

Vacay

So, was on vacay. I travel a lot, as a dear friend of mine just put it, my job is interfering with my travel lifestyle. But why do people travel? Over the years I've met a handful of people who don't enjoy/have little to no interest in travel. Is it fear over the unknown? Lack of certain thinking capabilities and hence a certain lack of imagination? Or the most insidious, a lack of interest? It makes me fearful for the state of the universe to imagine that someone could simply be uninterested in the ways of the rest of the world. I suppose a lot of people like their lives, like the way they work, and aren't terribly interested in how other people might do things. And in fact, this group can be lumped together with a group of "check the box" tourists who travel regularly, but who do so to say they have been places and done things. But there's a group of us who are reinvigorated every time we see a new structure of streets, a new tendency towards work clothes, a new way to stand on a bus, new rules about queuing, a different attitude towards rain (resulting, inevitably, from the different types of rain people experience - something I've learned over the years) and all those little things that give the most nominal insight into oneself, one's decisions, and one's culture, through the comparision to another.
It's the part of travel people tend not to talk about, an experience they sometimes don't even realize they've had. Personally, I think my need for travel stems from a practical response to an overdeveloped fight-or-flight (read chemical imbalance) response. If I don't travel, I feel more and more boxed-in and tend to rebel excessively to try to make the feeling of sameness go away. I just need the influx of the new - I've been stopping myself from disappearing into the world for most of my life, primarily by reading, which does a very similar thing to travel.

Biblical musings

So while I was procrastinating, I started reading the bible, part of it having been assigned reading for a class. And wow, is it wild. Leviticus in particular is just off-the-hook crazy. Like, I'm not that clear on the, okay to eat locusts, but no to escargot. There is also far more on specifics of how to deal with signs of leprosy than on dietary restrictions, which kind of makes you wonder...like the leprosy thing, not so important anymore, so why is it there? I know that seems a little circular, but if this is a book to address everything through all of mankind, what about more modern diseases and how to deal humanely with those with illness? I actually just think leviticus as a whole should go out the window - it's kind of cuckoo for coca puffs. Plus they don't even enforce the, you're not allowed in the temple if you only have one testicle thing anymore.
But the really interesting part is the interpretation. Most of what I read involves imposing values onto the religious text, regardless of what the text actually says. Being a literature prodigy, I know all about interpretation and about how far you can go. I actually know because when something is wrong with an interpretation or solution, there is a feeling in my stomach that tells me (yes, that is serious. and it works. it's never failed me). But drawing larger significance from simple rules is actually, I think, wrong. I think it is wrong to take a holy text, project your opinions onto it, thereby forcing them onto others who feel that not accepting the interpretation is a rejection of the text and ergo, of the religion. I mean, I could anoint myself as a religious figure and say that the whole testicle thing actually referred to undescended testicles and the fact that this interferes with testosterone production and general malfunction and so suggested that people who were unable to procreate weren't welcome in the flock. It matches with the getting rids of the lepers thing. The modern interpretation is that the weak should be weeded out and those who cannot contribute should not be allowed to use precious resources, such as fertile women. But I kind of doubt we'll see that one anywhere...

Skool sux

Skool is really lame. Totally lame. About as lame as the debt integration rules that provide that a qualifying debt instrument when combined with a section 1256 contract will qualify as an integrated instrument if the cash flows of the separate components are substantially equivalent to the cash flows on a fixed or variable rate debt instrument.
Don't make the mistake of confusing the qualifying debt instrument with the qualified debt instrument - Hah! as if you could! Mix up I.R.C. 988 and I.R.C. 1275! But seriously folks...am on the verge of throwing myself out a window.

the pres...

As anticipated. He looks a little more like a freak here than normally. (from the iht)

Silly travel guides

As someone who travels frequently on my own, I actually know better than to buy a bad travel guide. However, I've recently developed an unfortunate addiction to the Phaidon wallpaper guides. They're very silly and more for someone who is going to be touring around with a private driver or a tour guide who is basically to help you navigate the language and such. But they summarize a city into a handful of things to see and places to eat and sleep, with lots of pictures. It's a very un-American travel guide - one thing I really respect about Americans is that when they travel, they travel like responsible adults. They try to hit all the sites, see the nightlife, take in the atmosphere. They're really good, solid people, Americans. But there's something delectable in seeing a foreign city as a self-indulgent playground. Something hysterical in having conversations with people about cities of millions as though there were only 4 hotels and 10 restaurants. I mean, it's really very funny, at least if you can keep from laughing out loud. You have to keep the laughter inside for this kind of stuff and instead pretend as though you are just a happy person who doesn't realize how small and insular your sad little version of the world is.
And yes, I do often wish I didn't have the inability to stop the constant overwhelming analysis of the world and its stimuli. It's like trying to sleep with 3 luxury condos being built outside your window. No, that's really happening. It's more like trying to sleep before an exam you're unprepared for...off to study again :)

French election has begun!

As Le Monde notes, there is a, who the f*** cares attitude about this election. For one thing, the polls are open on a Sunday, which would give about 10% participation in the US. For another, Sarkozy looks set to win, so it is dubious whether it is worth it for anyone to even bother voting, except if, in the hilarious structure of the French, Royal can "faire mentir les sondages." (which means, make the polls lie) I think if we talked in that sort of structure in america, I would be a much bigger fan of the world and life in general.

In fact, the interest in the election is so great that the other main article is about reading people's minds.

Fiji Water Bottle

What are you interested in?
Nothing.
Me neither.
(identify the movie on your own)

I bought some fiji water yesterday because exam period expands my eccentricity. On the back there is a drawing showing where they get the water from. there is an "artesian aquifer," surrounded by "Impermeable Rock." And yet, somehow, the Fiji brand water manages to come through the "Impermeable Rock." I am fascinated that my water is able to defy the very laws of basic word denotation. True proof that it is magical water. Not to mention its not-so-subtle reference to the Wonka Chocolate River debacle (Please do not touch the water: it's our number one rule.) Perhaps it will allow me to concentrate on something, anything, of any relevance whatsoever. Oh Fiji Water, give me strength!

Really?

Sigmund Freud - "Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness."

What about my just flitting from one random thought or obsession to another? I feel like Freud didn't really get people...

Thoughts on travel

- I love shopping in Tokyo.
- I love eating in France and Japan.
- I love Copenhagen's airport.
- I love how people look like me in Spain.
- I love the dried corn snacks in Peru.
- I love how I seem to have lived in Moscow in a former life.
- I love the atmosphere of Istanbul.
- I loved Spring Break in Cancun.
- I love hot spring towns.
- I love the sulphur hot springs in Iceland.
- I love remembering being on the beach in Puerto Vallarta as a child.
- I love the predictability of US Customs officials.
- I love the plaque commemorating the invention of Dada in Zurich,
- I love the books I found in Aarhus.
- I love the easter festivities in Warsaw.
- I love markets everywhere. Even the one selling broken toys in Tunisia.

Second Tour Countdown!

See the Presidential box on the right for the actual countdown: http://www.lemonde.fr/

There were very strong numbers for Sarkozy across the board, and even in areas I didn't expect it - it doesn't look good for Royal. Although it's unclear how Bayrou folk will split, I'd go with Sarkozy over Royal. The numbers also make me think that France is becoming more like the US, which is sad. Tears, tears. Listening to one of the videos, that people are commenting that protests will not change the country and that kids should get jobs, wow, it's like talking with my conservative friends and/or my conservative persona (I prefer ideas to opinions - I know this is confusing to some people so I state it. Opinions just aren't that interesting and when you discuss opinions, people often get confused and instead of actually talking about the ideas, end up defending their pride and ego, regardless of the relevance to the discussion, because they misinterpret a disagreement of opinion as a personal attack. Then everyone gets very dramatic and I just think that sort of drama is totally unnecessary and causes me and everyone else stress. I really dislike how people do that. Turn ideas into debates about who they are personally. So painfully self-centered, to use a loaded term that people like to throw around when they can't think of a more accurate insult, although it is accurate in this context :) )

Also, Sarkozy is such a totalitarian freak. I mentioned earlier that I think the resemblance between Sarkozy and Putin should be more than a warning to the people of France.

Examinations

I hate exams. Totally hate them. But it isn't as though I have an alternate argument for them. The problem is that the educational system sucks all desire to learn out of children, such that repercussions are the only things available to motivate you by the time you should actually be paying attention. For me, it's just the simple fact that over the years, I have ceased to have any motivation whatsoever. I'm not motivated to work, or to not work, or to do much of anything. (I reference the Ferris Bueller scene here where the girlfriend and best friend are walking through daley plaza and both admit to not being interested in anything - I feel you) I blame treatment of the excess acid production in my stomach and the realization that I was allergic to wheat. Now that I don't have the stress associated with these conditions to deal with, I am too calm, I just don't even know myself anymore. And then I do silly things like buy boxes of chocolate (I don't like chocolate), more bananas (approximately 10 bananas have gone bad in my apartment in the past week), and a bunch of clothes for some imagined time when I'll want to leave my room and look lovely. The thing is, what I like is luxuriating in all my random thoughts and associations. That's the only thing I really enjoy and somehow that doesn't fit neatly into explaining why risk management can be a tax disaster, due to the treatment of swaps v. collars etc. My panda bear stuffed animal (Mr. Bear) is wearing a burberry golfing hat and taking this all in. I appreciate his upbeat and calming demeanor. He's a cutie.

Bone Marrow

So I've decided everyone needs to put him/herself in the bone marrow database. Basically, someone out there gets sick, they look in the database, find this random person who happens to match for them, and you can save someone's life. It's essentially unconscionable not to. You can visit www.giftoflife.org or visit the national bone marrow program (http://www.marrow.org/) for more info.

"He who saves one life, it is as if he had saved the entire world" -Talmud

Diet Coke Bath Alternative - Jelly Belly Shower!

Just decided to see what it would be like to pour a bag of jelly belly jelly beans on my head. It was ridiculous much fun. Even more fun than the shower in a 2 liter of diet coke. It made me laugh and didn't require as much clean-up as the shower - remarkably, room temperature diet coke is actually kind of cold compared to shower water and so pouring diet coke on yourself in the shower sort of causes you to jump out of the diet coke, causing it to splash all over the place. One drawback of the diet coke shower. However, I have very sensitive senses and so the smell of the tropical mix of jelly bellys that I dropped on myself has now permeated the room and is making me slightly nauseous - hence, the drawback of this plan. I think having my sunlight-reproducing lamp on is amplifying the effect.
Back to watching Old School, one of the finest movies, ever.

The Kon-Tiki Expedition!

Is sixty years old!

Spotlight: Sixty years ago today, Thor Heyerdahl and five others set sail from Peru across the Pacific on a simple raft, in an attempt to prove that pre-Columbian South Americans could have settled Polynesia. The raft was called the Kon-Tiki; built of balsa wood, the boat successfully covered about 4,300 miles (6,900 kilometers), arriving at the Polynesian island of Raroia in 101 days. Heyerdahl's book about the voyage, Kon-Tiki, has been translated into more than 66 languages. The documentary made of the trip won an Oscar in 1951.

Quote: "Progress is man's ability to complicate simplicity."

— Thor Heyerdahl
(from answers.com)


First of all, I've read the book, it is fascinating, and mind-expanding. He actually did this another time and there is a whole museum dedicated to the kon-tiki expedition that is outside Oslo that I visited during my time as a European vagabond. They have the ships there - honestly, unbelievably cool stuff. Basically the idea is that he set out to prove that south americans could have settled in polynesia - and to prove this, he took off on a raft to replicate the experience. It's crazy, but awesome.

Diane Keaton

I worry that I may secretly be an old person because I really relate to Diane Keaton in Something's Gotta Give. She also always has such an impeccable style in all the movies she's in - it's not my style but it totally works - like in Lyndsay Lohan's screen debut as the twins in the remake of The Parent Trap - brilliant clothing she wore. Of course, the fact that I sleep the same amount as a newborn baby and have the thought patterns and interests of a hyperactive adolescent tend to convince me that I might not be an old person. I think I am a fascinating compendium of characters. Yes, indeed :)

Leviticus 16:1- 20:27

So, having taken some sleep medication that I am trying to think-positive-thoughts about working, I figure I have some time to kill and end up through a series of clicks, listening to a reform interpretation of this week's torah portion. It's rather interesting. There's some stuff in there about Noah's son having born a son from Noah's wife, which is pretty bizarre to me, although admittedly, I haven't closely read the bible and maybe this is standard fare. I'm not so much sold on how the interpretation veers off from there - it provides a good lesson about protecting those closest to you, but I don't really believe the lesson follows from the passage. It's also sort of an obvious lesson, which led me to wondering about all this analysis and interpretation. Interpretations are actually provided by two rabbis on this occasion, both with the same lesson. But I just wonder, are there people out there who really need that lesson? Who actually need to be told that you shouldn't trip a blind person, either literally or figuratively? That loyalty should drive your personal relationships? It just makes me wonder what's out there in terms of personalities, that anyone would think to behave differently. I suppose the most popular videos on you tube should have given me some pause...

Sleepy Time Bear

Normally, that's me. It's a reference to my childhood, to the celestial seasonings tea - which as it turns out, is actually Sleepytime® Herb Tea, but there's a sleepy bear on the front of the tea box, hence the sleepy time bear concept. Plus, we would always have honey from the honey bear, reinforcing the bear-ness. And then there is winnie-the-pooh, yet another honey-associated bear. Nowadays, it is very difficult to get me to drink herbal tea, because I drink things to hydrate, caffeinate, or get tipsy, and herbal tea fits none of those categories. Plus, I often want tea at night and the celestial seasonings boxes kind of freak me out. It's late at night, you're a little out of it, probably a little stressed about work, and you end up reading one of the "inspirational" quotes on the box and begin wondering about all these people who came up with these witty and inspirational quotes and imagine that people who came up with this kind of stuff would be cozy in their beds, getting their 8 hours a night, thinking nice balanced socially-acceptable thoughts. For example, take this quote from celestial seasonings' website:

"Good impulses spring from a happy readiness of spirit." - Balthasar Gracian


Uh-huh. Sure, fair enough. Just, um, who exactly thinks in those terms? It turns out that Gracian was a Jesuit writer. And also, a strategist of sorts, saying also, for example: "It is both useless and insipid to play with the cards on the table." These additional writings put the quote into some context, outside the florid art on the celestial seasonings' box. His writings remind me of a lot of things I've been forced to read over time, things that have left me cold, in the sense that they are completely uninspiring to me, I think of LaRochefoucauld's maxims, which I had to read during one of my tragic undergraduate french classes, which in turn is kind of like reading the Importance of being Earnest, which, don't get me wrong I like Oscar Wilde and all, is irrelevant nonsense with a veneer of great importance. Which I think it the most dangerous thing of all, people and things that believe themselves greatly important, when in fact, they are average and simple. I just think those are the type of people who tend to ruin the world for the rest of us, the ones who think they are smarter and better than everyone else. The smart ones tend to keep quiet and the ones who aren't tend to speak up, and then lead a group of people to disaster and for some reason, the fact that they are talking leads people to believe they are competent. I won't list examples, for fear of retribution, as unrealistic as that is. Living too much in reality is unbearably dull.

Beez

I think there may be a hive of bees living in my ceiling. Last night, a bug I originally thought was a fly ended up being a bee. The bug was hanging out on my ceiling, and ultimately, in one of my closets. It is unclear to me how the bee arrived and whether it left (I had to sleep in the bathroom to avoid it). But I continue to hear the bee-type noises. I am not the only one concerned with bees. Of course, he is also concerned with grizzly bears, which are no doubt a menace, but even I don't think a grizzly bear is going to come wandering into my bedroom. Plus I sort of think if you end up in a situation where there are grizzly bears, it is pretty much your own fault. Particularly if you live in the United States. And particularly if you have a computer and can read this. Unless somehow you are a grizzly bear that has learned to read and somehow use a keyboard, which I think would be hard with those bear claws. But it might be like those geico cave man commercials, which have kind of convinced me that cave men might still exist, and are being persecuted. So maybe similar commercials with web-surfing grizzly bears could cause an alternate universe to exist where grizzly bears might be able to comment on this post. You know, if collectively enough people believe something, it ends up being true - maybe the placebo effect of conscious reality? Or to be more exact, it isn't true, but the fact that it isn't true is essentially irrelevant, a technicality, since if everyone else is going to believe it, and the world believes it, then what's the point in not believing it? And doesn't not believing it just make you crazy then, even if it is true? That basically sums up what I realized about the world from a young age - it is made up of a lot of people who believe things that aren't true, but even if you're right, they'll never accept that they're wrong and you can choose to fight them or you can sleep. I vacillate between the two.

Yeltsin

Cheers and zakusky to a man who loved vodka and attempted to create a free media in Russia. Moscow Times. NYT. Sad about the free media thing, but at least capitalism came...

UPDATE: http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/europe/04/23/yeltsin.tanks.ap/index.html?eref=rss_latest

CNN overlooks the crucial fact that Yeltsin was a nonfunctional alcoholic.

Fight club fears + First Tour has ended!

I worry quite a bit when I can't sleep about turning into the fight club character. I worry that in fact, when I believe I am dreaming, I am leading a complex alter existence that may wreck havoc on the world. It wouldn't surprise me terribly much, but the problem is that I think I would still be responsible for the actions of the alter ego. Part of it is that I have a decent amount of trouble distinguishing between my dreams and reality. Also part of it is that the world is a strange and confusing place to me. Also part of it is that in my dreams, since I was a small child, people are constantly telling me that I've done things and am responsible for things I never did. And actually, in real life too. So I'm sort of used to the idea that suddenly you become responsible for things that you never did and then you have to deal with the repercussions. But the problem is that I like to prepare in advance for tragedy because I am very sensitive and surprise tragedies hurt me too much. But when I am going to be held responsible for something I didn't know I did, a la should I become the fight club character, then there is no preparation. So I don't think I would take it well, or be prepared to give it my best fight. Hence the worry. Also, I normally sleep substantial amounts so when I don't sleep, I imagine there is something invidious occurring behind the curtain.
BTW, French elections, first tour is over, with a significantly more reasonable result than last time. Sarkozy will probably win, which is unfortunate because he reminds me of Putin, who I think will be responsible for an enormous disaster this century. Also, Sarkozy is racist and classist and lots of other ugly things that don't help when you are trying to fix a society that is breaking apart based on its cultural divides. The comments section on the iht article is particularly entertaining.

?

"I hate myself and I want to die" t-shirts are on sale...significance?

The cauchemar of flash

What exactly is a cauchemar? According to the delightfully serious french wikipedia article, for some it is a nighttime form of epilepsy, a bad demon, nervous temperament, and eventually of course, it simply becomes an expression of issues that haven't been properly dealt with by the conscious mind. In a sense, they're all essentially the same, something is amiss in the head and when the body sleeps, the mind will play. My complaint is that flash causes my brain to go into crazy mode while my body is still awake. To explain, I generally uninstall flash and any video playing devices from my browsers because the moving ads drive me nuts. I can stand them for a short while, then I move the window so I can't see them but after about 5 minutes of web browsing, I'm about to break the computer monitor I'm so stressed by the flashing and movement that I have to shut everything down. For whatever reason, the way that flash ads tend to flow and repeat and slowly move across the space agitates my brain greatly and causes it to think that it is time to begin bringing forth demons and other subconscious issues, all while I'm trying to figure out what's happening in telecoms. The problem is that eventually I really need to see a video - generally because I become convinced that the miscellaneous person who died in a car crash/shooting/jumping off a bridge is someone I know, but there are insufficient details in the written stories and so I have to see videos on the off-chance they spliced shots in an unprofessional way and you can actually see the victim (this reason is generally responsible for about 2-3 installs per month - and btw, this has never actually been the case). An alternative would be to sit down with a therapist and work through ways to deal with my irrational beliefs as regards people I know suddenly dying all the time and someone forgetting to let me know and then being in the awful situation of having sent an e-mail to a dead person, but it's really much easier to uninstall and reinstall flash, at least for now. If I start watching more local news, however, the balance will likely tip in the direction of therapy. Local news is just fuel on the fire for this stuff.

Insomnia

Insomnia is not really my thing. I'm more about hypersomnia. I've had a couple of prolonged periods of relative insomnia, and while I've eventually come around to the additional productivity that 6 hours adds onto the day, I always start out rather annoyed. There are the false starts on sleep and the unexpectedly quick depletion of my kalamata olive and diet coke supplies. Not to mention the steady decline in reasonable background-television as the hours creep into the single digits. But I've always been more productive at night than during the day so these bouts of insomniaish-ness tend to help me focus. Tonight, I am focusing on education and justice - specifically, the lack of justice inherent in the funding system for public education, a particular pet cause of mine. I hope eventually to fix the system, but it's been difficult to identify the specific problems, without which I have no hope of identifying the solutions. However, and as I am otherwise going through difficult times, I take a certain comfort in the statement of a great educational reformer: "Be ashamed to die until you have won some victory for humanity." - Horace Mann. That victory can, and probably does, come in contradictory forms. I have no doubt that what I feel would be a victory for mankind would be considered something to be countered, itself a victory for mankind, by someone else. But I don't actually think this negates the fundamental value of the action. Part of it is that society moves forward by enough people believing in the same victories, thereby pushing the balance in one direction. But another part of it is that part of the victory is a victory for the individual, a way in which by reforming education, Mann allowed himself to grow and develop personally. I don't believe victories should be pursued for selfish ends - you should believe in the victory you are pursuing - but inevitably, there are collateral benefits to thinking outside yourself, thinking for greater humanity. And of course, you should always believe that your single contribution will change the world, because in some way it will. But even if it doesn't do exactly what you want it to do, it will likely still have great significance, so long as you undertake it with sufficient integrity. One thing I've learned over the years, over talking with many people, is that almost everyone has a good core. A lot of people hide it. Others are scared of it, and run away from it. Others are too aware of it, and exaggerate it, putting down others to build themselves up. But most of us, when touched by the words or actions of another person in the right way, slip into our good core. That place where all our dreams for society are. It's a calming, empowering place. King's Letter from Birmingham Jail does that for me. In reading it, you feel his passion, feel the righteousness of his argument - I can't imagine not being inspired to determine what great social justice we owe to the people of today.

Darfur

There are a lot of problems in the world. A lot. And a lot of issues that need to be addressed. But world-wide issues deserve emergency-room-style triage treatment. Just in case anyone wasn't aware, there is still genocide occurring in Darfur. An estimated 400,000 people have died as a result of the conflict. See wikipedia entry.
One problem is that many countries and individuals look to the UN and its institutions to address these global issues. But, and I want to say this with as little vitriol as possible, the UN is an extremely political institution. And by political, I mean focused on a handful of issues, sort of like gay marriage-type issues, that draw a lot of attention and soap box speech but don't really address the important human issues. Many people are too overwhelmed by a lack of empowerment that expresses itself as hatred to focus on positive action.
I believe that true social change happens when people with power use their power to change the world for good. But I also believe that with a great amount of effort and a substantial number of people, those without power can make a difference, particularly on clear moral issues like mass killing.
April 23-30 = Global Days for Darfur. This group brought together a number of organizations that are concerned about what is happening in Darfur and it is trying to create the critical mass that will make a difference.

Taxation sans Representation

Taxes this year ended up being far more taxing than normal - so far I have competed 6 forms and as much as I love doing my taxes (and I really do) even I am a bit exhausted by the endless circularity of some of the calculations. I actually on two occasions had to divide two numbers and then multiply the resulting figure by one of the original numbers, resulting in the remarkable outcome one would expect...
Inevitably completing the forms and the sense of accepted despair when you actually calculate the figure on the "tax" line leads to wonderment at the extent to which you personally are supporting the government. For me, it's pretty much as inevitable as my semi-annual mid-life crisis when exam period comes. Suddenly you recognize your own (potential) significance, view an accounting of what you have been doing for the past year or half year, and then briefly freak out. Then there is a burst of energy, a million new plans, motivated with the sort of honest vigor that children have when their parents discover they've broken a vase and the children realize they're going to be allowed to live but that a really earnest showing of a changed heart will improve the situation dramatically. Actually, it occurs to me that it makes infinitely more sense to make new year's resolutions mid-April, when you are REALLY assessing your situation.

Sake & DC

A couple thoughts on beverages today - sake and diet coke. Sake because I've been drinking it out of an espresso cup from argentina trying to force myself to sleep and diet coke because I decided a diet coke bath might be very intriguing. Was trying to determine how many 2 liter bottles would be required to fill the bathtub - it seems like rather a lot. Which led me to wondering why they don't sell diet coke in larger quantities, and then I considered the difficulty of drinking or even pouring from a larger container (which of course could be dealt with, but it would require altering the form of the bottle to something more akin to a wine box and I think that would destroy some of the brand strength without much benefit to coke b.c. they make more on the smaller bottles). The diet coke bath sort of comes from Zoolander - I've been thinking for a while about it - that scene where he pours a diet coke on his head - not sure why, but it always seemed very intriguing to me. But then I thought, why just do one coke, why even limit myself to a shower, when I could simply have a bath and thereby truly experience saturation in diet coke. On sake, I've been trying to adapt myself to it. It turns out that sake, like many hard alcohols, really changes with quality. Meaning that cheap sake is like drinking rubbing alcohol and good sake is smooth and delicious. When I was in Japan I kind of had to go with it because wheat and I are not one and there's a lot of beer and I like to drink on vacation, well, just because I do. Actually, it's because it adds some extra drama to the travel adventure. I don't think I've been on a non-drinking vacation in a long time and I think I would be unable to handle the sometimes-slow pace of travel. You can't always get where you want to when you want to, you often can't communicate, you have to check maps 20 times, and then many times you do all this to get to a place that is closed for the month or no longer even exists and you have to say, okay, so where to next. With a bit of alcohol, it's all a bit more entertaining.
But so am undecided on the diet coke bath - a number of potential problems - I know it's a little off, and I know that enough to have worried about attention I might draw by trying to bring 20 2 liter bottles of diet coke past my doorman - also, what if instead of enjoying the diet coke bath, I am grossed out by it and then traumatized for a while by my weirdness - or maybe I'll enjoy it too much and want to bathe in diet coke on a regular basis and then it's back to the practicality issue. Although I suppose I could install one of those soda machines in my home and buy the syrup.

Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut has evidently died. I'm upset, and it's hard to explain. Part of it, no doubt, was discovering Vonnegut as a 10th grader in English class. I'd been given the assignment of reading the first chapter or so of Cat's Cradle and as was my tendency, I ended up staying up the whole night and finishing the book. When I came into class the next day, after sitting in silence for a few moments waiting for the teacher to begin, he slapped his hand down on the desk next to where I sat and said, you finished the whole thing, didn't you? I didn't know what he meant at first, and he had to clarify but the answer was yes. He proceeded to bitch me out, telling me how it wasn't the way you were supposed to do it, etc. But of course, what was interesting, was that he knew I read the whole thing without my having said or done anything that indicated it. He knew it because he knew Vonnegut and he knew me and he knew I'd stumbled on something that would never have allowed me to stop reading.
I read all of Vonnegut's books over time. I felt like he was a different version of myself, an expression of thoughts I might have in the future. He had this melancholy optimism, it was me, but a me who had accepted certain things and rejected certain things and figured out how to deal with everything else and as a result, had distilled certain truths about mankind and life into humorous and poignant vignettes.
I was reading the nyt obit and was somewhat surprised to read the discussion of critics who claimed he repeated things - which of course he did - but that was a large part of what made his oeuvre. It wasn't exactly repetition, but actually development of an idea. You put something in one situation, and one thing happens. In another, an entirely separate thing happens. If anything, Vonnegut was didactic, but not in a condescending sense. He was a teacher, with that calm surety that allowed him to float his ideas without too much direction.
His existence made me feel like there was a place for me. Silly, in a way, but that he had found a place made it at least possible that I would as well. He wasn't just like me, but he was like part of me.

Today I'm curious about wireless internet - why is it so slow and why is there seeming apathy on this? It boggles the mind.

Had a bit of a run-in w/ a cobbler the other day. I'm still quite annoyed about it. I can't quite understand why small-time businessmen would think that providing sub-par service isn't going to pose a problem for their businesses. Seriously, imagine you run a business inside a shop the size of three public bathroom stalls. Unless you are producing something illicit, I can guarantee that you need all the revenues you can get. So why in the world would you do something that is going to reduce the number of customers you get? And if all you do is fix shoes, why not just do it properly? Do you think someone isn't going to notice when you failed to shine part of the shoe? It's all right there, screaming for anyone to see. The thing that is really annoying about this is that then we are supposed to subsidize small businesses. With the money I make from working all the time I am supposed to subisidize lazy people with attitudes who provide sub-standard services. Although it is true that the shop pretty much epitomizes pre-Capitalist Russia. Anyways, the shop is Cobbler's Bench and it is in Union Station in DC. I recommend you avoid it like the plague, particularly when the younger man is there - he is extremely slow, a total jerk and despite an apparent fluency in English is incapable of understanding the spoken word.