Insomnia

Insomnia is not really my thing. I'm more about hypersomnia. I've had a couple of prolonged periods of relative insomnia, and while I've eventually come around to the additional productivity that 6 hours adds onto the day, I always start out rather annoyed. There are the false starts on sleep and the unexpectedly quick depletion of my kalamata olive and diet coke supplies. Not to mention the steady decline in reasonable background-television as the hours creep into the single digits. But I've always been more productive at night than during the day so these bouts of insomniaish-ness tend to help me focus. Tonight, I am focusing on education and justice - specifically, the lack of justice inherent in the funding system for public education, a particular pet cause of mine. I hope eventually to fix the system, but it's been difficult to identify the specific problems, without which I have no hope of identifying the solutions. However, and as I am otherwise going through difficult times, I take a certain comfort in the statement of a great educational reformer: "Be ashamed to die until you have won some victory for humanity." - Horace Mann. That victory can, and probably does, come in contradictory forms. I have no doubt that what I feel would be a victory for mankind would be considered something to be countered, itself a victory for mankind, by someone else. But I don't actually think this negates the fundamental value of the action. Part of it is that society moves forward by enough people believing in the same victories, thereby pushing the balance in one direction. But another part of it is that part of the victory is a victory for the individual, a way in which by reforming education, Mann allowed himself to grow and develop personally. I don't believe victories should be pursued for selfish ends - you should believe in the victory you are pursuing - but inevitably, there are collateral benefits to thinking outside yourself, thinking for greater humanity. And of course, you should always believe that your single contribution will change the world, because in some way it will. But even if it doesn't do exactly what you want it to do, it will likely still have great significance, so long as you undertake it with sufficient integrity. One thing I've learned over the years, over talking with many people, is that almost everyone has a good core. A lot of people hide it. Others are scared of it, and run away from it. Others are too aware of it, and exaggerate it, putting down others to build themselves up. But most of us, when touched by the words or actions of another person in the right way, slip into our good core. That place where all our dreams for society are. It's a calming, empowering place. King's Letter from Birmingham Jail does that for me. In reading it, you feel his passion, feel the righteousness of his argument - I can't imagine not being inspired to determine what great social justice we owe to the people of today.