Wednesday, October 22, 2008

How could I possibly confuse Chistoper Buckley and Martin Scorsese?



Answer: I have picked up a bug again. I don't know what is up with my immune system but it is really being a brat this year. I even got the flu shot a couple weeks ago at some airport kiosk. Particularly at the critical election time. I'm rather excited, suddenly (as I previously didn't care at all b.c. it just means my taxes are going to go up, my services will go down, and we will do something idiotic in the Middle East that cannot be undone - please, Barack, I beg you, leave Iran alone. They are mostly good people and a concerted and slightly more subversive CIA effort can solve all our problems - and will cause WWIII and as a result of all these, I will likely have to leave the country and I kind of don't feel like it given recent personal circumstances) due to my forced involvement in the political process, which most of you know about. Well, like the umpteenth forced involvement, but the biggie. I'm not upset, I actually am having a fabulous time. I didn't even mind stuffing envelopes, which last election I was like, I've been forced to do this since I was eight, I refuse. Find people more enthusiastic about democracy. For those of you who don't know about political campaigns, they basically run on a few over-zealous young young people who are stressed to their limits and have to take significant vacations when the election is over along with an army of housewives and retirees who do the bulk of the dirty (albeit simple) work (and any child labor they can round up :)). The key is to keep the latter group entertained so it is good to chat and encourage chatting amongst the volunteers. If the main people can stand it, some background music or a television with news helps quite a bit. Although it might appear to slow down the process, it engenders a more positive mood, keeping the volunteers there longer and causing them to come back more frequently and bring friends and as a result, there is more work done and greater efficiency, as seemingly ironic as that is. Sadly, a lot of the stressed-out young-ins, as much as they think they're tuned into the subleties of people's preferences, aren't as maniacally good at manipulating/reading people as myself and so these end up being missed opportunities for them and they have to stuff envelopes themselves to finish off that last batch that lovely Mrs. Smith, who has been sitting in her house two blocks away watching Jeopardy most of the afternoon, would have been happy to do if she were offered a pleasant environment.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Moveon Obama Pin

Okay, so I have slammed Moveon repeatedly due to their overly aggressive ads and rather insane emails which are supposed to make me believe that a 10-year old's future depends on whether people vote Obama or McCain. I find that to be a naive belief in the good that government will do versus the reality of what every government does, which is basically the same thing, sometimes with a twist of lemon. Like Johnson signed the Civil Rights bill. That was clearly a twist of lemon, although he was essentially forced to politically after Kennedy's assassination, so it's a twist, but out of political necessity, so really it was politics as usual. Admittedly, there is really crazy stuff that goes on, like Bush subversively funding religious organizations and the abstinence only stuff and even allowing schools to not teach evolution (kids, if someone didn't teach you about evolution I'm willing to bet that your lifetime earnings potential has been significantly reduced and you will likely spend hours confused trying to understand what's going on on tv as evolution is the scientific and social underpinning of our society. whether you believe in it or not is a whole different matter, but to not teach it at all? sounds an awful lot like going to a partisan school that leaves you unprepared for the real world....). So I will admit that Bush has done/allowed a lot of crazy right-wing stuff to go down - f/x we basically have a court ready to overturn roe v. wade, at which point I'm seriously leaving the country because I refuse to return to the dark ages. I mean what's next? Am I going to be relegated to housework and popping out 15 children? Not that any woman who does that would read this, but you should really wake up. This is it. This is your life and every minute that ticks by is one more that you are losing to the patriarchy and its preferences and values. You must have dreams, passions, even passing thoughts, about incredible things you could do for yourself or others - they're never going to happen unless you walk away from all this and go and do them. The world deserves to have you take these actions, become that complete person who has children but also is helping the world to be a better place. Don't forget about that second part.
You may notice that my tangent deviates significantly from the subject line. Point being, I finally got my moveon.org Obama pin in the mail. I figured why not, even though, as I was alluding to before, I find their tactics at best annoying (but of course, I'm not the target group, although I should be as I am an undecided voter, although the indecision has more to do with which family member I plan to write in) BUT (focus) the pin is AWESOME. This is the coolest Obama pin I have seen yet. It is totally old school and hearkens back to Kennedy. Props to moveon for this. They gave out 2.2 million so they're out (checked because once I saw it, I wanted all my friends to have it) and I'm a poll watcher on election day so I can't wear it, but it's awesome. Funny how all the political brats, even at this age, have the buttons from their parents' campaigns lying around their apartments, however small (the apartment). Yes, that was totally unrelated, but not and again, if you can't keep up with the flow of my logic, you need to do some of those brain exercises, maybe more crossword puzzles (although I can't stand those, but my younger sister greatly enjoyed them through college, law school and I believe barbri).
Hmmm, maybe I should move to LA and become an actress? That's way beyond even a pipe dream since my parents smashed my dreams of becoming an actress when they refused to allow me to attend the top arts academy high school in the country to pursue my acting career and instead sent me to the ivy league to map out my genes (that was actually really cool, albeit not productive in terms of becoming an actress). Of course, when I start going too far with these plans I have to stop myself and say, wait, are you really just thinking this is a good idea because you're manic, and I ponder that for a while. There are many signs that that is the cause, usually a disconnect between the proposed action and my staid lifetime goals (which have been on a sheet of paper for years now and have not changed, except for the specification of winning a great prize specified to winning the nobel). And for the haters out there, yes I am serious about the nobel. Haters including my brother. I mean, you win too. You'll get to say your sister won the nobel prize. Think it through. Maybe you had too many oysters.

Friday, October 17, 2008

That election thing...

As my public service message of the year, here is an organization, non-partisan, that is dedicated to making sure that voters are not disenfranchised, basically focusing on mistakes made at the polling places. And of course, anything that's not a mistake and is intimidation or other nutty stuff (heard a great one today where evidently they were telling people that if they voted and had an outstanding parking ticket they would be arrested - brilliant scam, totally untrue). You can go to the website and sign up to volunteer in all sorts of capacities. Come on, do something for our democracy.

From Sarah Silverman...

"Sarah, I was in serious medical danger and you didn't even care."
"Steve, I cared. I texted you."

OMG is she funny. Esp. b.c. that was sufficient.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Lawsuit Against God

Wow. So a number of people have commented to me lately about the relatively low bar set for politicians. However, just straight out insanity is a whole different game. Who is voting for this character? How did he become a senator? And why is our legal system so goofy that the way this got kicked out of court was on the basis of the failure to serve papers on God?

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Goal Orientation


So my new thing that randomly popped into my head (such things I trust quite a bit more than those that come about after significant thought and reflection) is that I need to engage exclusively in goal-oriented behavior. The problem isn't so much with me as I'm relatively goal oriented but with the world, which is overwhelmingly, in all ways shapes and forms, not goal oriented. Except to the extent that the "goal" is dealing with one's self and being self-involved. Which just doesn't count as far as I'm concerned. Being an idiot doesn't qualify one as goal oriented. Although to be fair, often people are in a technical sense being goal oriented but their goals are so inane and useless to society that they fall squarely in the category of idiots, just to be clear. Often people are confused and think that when I refer to idiots I'm only referring to people with IQs of 85 and below while I am actually referring to the mass of humanity. But point being that I need to rid myself of all these people and their nonsense and their distractions and focus on what I want to do and instead of spending all my time dealing with things they should have professionals address I can actually work on my business projects. And sleep.

p.s. the illustration addresses the bell curve for intelligence as measured by IQ, obviously not an accurate measure, but at the extremes, it makes its point. and mine.

Propriety Pt 2

So what do we think of the following situation:

1) One of your closest friends asks you for advice about investing in a 401(k) given that you have a strong financial background.
2) You respond, think about it, you won't live past 60, so there's no tax benefit so no. (you're totally serious and both parties are aware of this)

Assuming this is basically factually correct on all accounts, are you supposed to tell people that they've got about 20 years less to live than the average bloke? Or should you do it more subtly? It's rather complex and depends on the situation.

Social Propriety and Crossing the Line in the Name of Humor


So as per usual, I have Arrested Development on in the background (am in a recovery state- I really hope that the stuff that bees use to sterilize their hives is a super powerful antioxidant - magically, my supply of "Super Antioxidant," I would argue the Vitamin Shoppe's finest product, is gone from my vitamin supply) but anyways, the point is it's the episode where Michael sleeps with the blind girl as an attempt at his first one night stand and then can't walk away because he feels that it's a non-option given that she's blind. So a few questions. One - special treatment with regards to sexual interaction for those with disabilities? Really? Or should they be treated equally? Or is that somehow equal because you're balancing out for the problems related to the disability? I mean, I think you could go either way, but I just find it odd that the intuitive response is not more balanced. Two, I love this show, but this really pushes credibility to the limit that he didn't catch on to the fact that she was blind until the following morning when she spilled coffee on the floor. Of course, she's not really blind, so it's possible that his intuition told him that she wasn't so he ignored what she was setting up as signs of blindness or equal alternative, that she failed to put forth those signs. Third, and this is just a complaint, but there's a line where she makes a reference to pirates roaming the high seas in response to the fact that he's a maritime lawyer. I think it is impossible that she would have said that were it not for the set-up for the whole maritime joke of Michael playing the lawyer for Captain Hook in his like middle school play. And that one, I won't let them get away with as an intradiagetic reference. No way.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Half-birthday

FYI, I celebrate my half and not my real birthday because the Gods have decided to consistently make my real birthday a disaster. So anyone reading this who actually knows me is invited. Contact me for further details - it will be next month in ny.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Doctors



This is pretty weird, because I've seen more doctors in my short life than most people see in their entire lifetimes, including that nasty bit at the end when you're in the hospital for weeks or months and everyone is just kind of waiting for the inevitable - but I didn't get until literally today that it REALLY matters what doctor you see. Obviously not true if you have an ear infection or strep throat or other things that I mean, I could diagnose and the closest I've come to formal training is a college course in molecular biology. But when you start getting into the stuff that really matters, that actually impacts (please, no notes about the use of "impact" - I use words as I wish regardless of what other people believe to be the correct usage) your day-to-day life and makes or breaks or reasons for living, the doctor you end up with is critical to whether you will succeed or fail in your quest for health. Take one (of many) current examples. A friend, experiencing narcoleptic-type symptoms and having taken the requisite sleep studies finally sees a neurology sleep specialist at a top university hospital. He prescribes a medication that does not work, and doesn't work with an extremely large proportion of patients (I would guess about 70% based on the research I've done). She had previously taken a relatively strong medication developed by the military to keep fighter pilots awake for 24 hours that wore off after initially working, so this was a stupid choice on the doctor's part - clearly she needed a strong medication. On the next visit, he not only refused to try a different medication (there are several that could address the issue) he continued on to diagnose her with fibromyalgia, a quite serious disease - however, she has none of the symptoms other than hypersomnia, which is completely insufficient for a diagnosis of fibromyalgia, a disease that often prevents people from climbing stairs and leaves them in incredible pain. She fights back and forth, trying to explain that she doesn't have this disease and that she desperately needs medication as she is unable to function at work. The doctor - couldn't care less.
So she explains all this to me and it strikes me as yet another case of obnoxious, self-contained, heartless doctors doing whatever they can to get hundreds of dollars from insurance companies while providing nothing for their patients. So far, we haven't found a solution but have determined that this doctor is a more junior doctor and I am anticipating that the scheduled visit with the more senior doctor I brokered will be more fruitful, in that at least she should be reasonable about the situation.
It occurred to me as well as I had an appointment with a doctor this morning and I called him yesterday, having misplaced the appointment card, to ask when the appointment was for. He said 10. I wrote down 10. I put it on both my calendars. I am there circa 9:47. He comes in, says, you're here early, I say yes, because I'm thinking, well yes technically 9:47 is not 10:00 so fair enough if we want to split hairs. But then the other bloke in the waiting room goes back with him. And I'm like, seriously? I called YESTERDAY. Afternoon. I couldn't have been more clear. He couldn't have been more clear. And I thought again, wow, I really should get a better doctor. Because if he can't even tell me my appointment time, how well is his brain really functioning? And how well is he understanding my symptoms and able to address them? My guess is not that well. Like now I'm all freaked out that he has early alzheimers and I'm in this disasterous situation where I am getting prescriptions and tests from someone with diminished capabilities.
This could go on forever but I need to address a headache.

Gatorade - Elixir of the Gods?


So over the years, my mother, my doctors, nurses providing emergency care after I passed out from dehydration at baseball games (yes, multiple), all have pushed Gatorade on me like it was a vitamin. And for some reason, I hated it, I suppose because it makes me slightly nauseous. However, recently a friend was visiting and woke up with a ridiculous hangover after something like 7 hours of beer pong, and requested a bottle of Gatorade, which he drank and promptly felt better. A couple weeks later I became violently ill with a pernicious flu that lasted 2-3 weeks, the first couple weeks of which the only "food" I could digest was Gatorade. And I realized that it was actually kind of making me feel better. And this made me curious, both about Gatorade in general and specifically, why it seemed to rebalance me.
As it turns out, Gatorade has a fascinating history for a quotidian beverage. It starts with the University of Florida footballers who couldn't handle the physical demands of football given the weather/environment of Florida. The coach went to the University's science department for a solution and the mixture of substances that was to be Gatorade was born - indeed the name "Gatorade" is derived from the football team's name, the Gators. (this slightly bizarre article on the state department website seemingly selling Gatorade to the nation of Guyana provides further information) (NB further that Gatorade is not certified kosher)
Anyways, the answer is either that I am carb or electrolyte deficient and that is why I feel so much better (albeit nauseous - I just don't take sugar that well). Considering that I don't eat gluten, the carb answer is more likely.
As always, leave it to yahoo answers to come up with a completely false and stupid answer. Obviously off-topic, but I am fascinated by yahoo answers for its ability to consistently incorrectly answer questions, have them permanently posted, and somehow yahoo is okay with attaching its name to this. I mean, if I were running a major company based on the utility of the internet and I had a product designed to allow users to provide other users with answers to their questions, I would have a monitor that checked this stuff over. It's only logical. But yahoo has been disappointing me since they started doing those absurd commercials going "Yahoooooo-oooo." I mean, it's just painful to watch and makes you feel like if you've ever used a yahoo account you're an idiot.

Television


So I've run into a problem here. I need television in the background to work effectively (or some other combination of visual and aural stimulation but the easiest way to do this is via television) and the thing is, that while I don't actually watch it or consciously listen to it, I both watch and listen to it unconsciously. And I only like about 10 programs on television. And stations repeat these programs. And as a result, I become distracted because I know what the words and images are going to be and so instead of focusing on my work, I'm focusing on recreating the show before/as it happens in my head.
Example being the South Park episode that is on Comedy Central right now. This one, unfortunately, I know extremely well because I downloaded it from itunes and thus have seen it at least 30 times because pretty much every South Park episode is insanely funny and actually becomes funnier the more you see it.
That of course is the other problem: the shows I like are all ones appreciation of which increases with repeated viewings. As a result, having something in the background that I've seen 30 times gets me very excited and I laugh hysterically while I am trying to do something very serious. If only I didn't bloody have undiagnosable ADD and didn't have to watch tv to do work. But you know what, I have this impediment for a reason. Somehow, in some way, it is going to allow me to improve the world. Not quite sure how as I listen to Cartman swear over a video game, but I maintain my optimism.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Am I subtly becoming a socialist?

As I sat here, perusing educational opportunities that would eat my entire year's salary with one gulp, I thought out loud, why is education so expensive? And the feeling underlying that was, education is the sort of thing that you shouldn't have to pay for, that society should sponsor, that we should all be grateful for the degree to which we benefit from the education of others.
Admittedly, this is not a one-off for me. It relates quite closely to an international education plan I have that is designed to both improve conditions for Africans while simultaneously improving conditions for Americans. (I always say, best to do a win-win situation). Perhaps the two don't really differ if you can legitimately argue that educating the top candidates in the U.S. benefits the country as a whole, but when you're talking about comparative literature, that's a stretch. And I say that even though I was brainwashed for a long period of time into believing that comparative literature could save the world. (see remnants of said belief in description of Africa project)

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Extremes

It's a little late so I'm not thinking entirely clearly (I also continue to suffer from the bitterness alluded to in my earlier post, which muddles my thinking) but reading this article reminds me of something, something very very bad. As a friend was noting the other day, all extremes are bad, but this just strikes me as insane and unacceptable. Now part of that is that I am sort of wildly open-minded and any restrictions on anyone strike me as unacceptable. But part of it is that this just isn't what it's about. And I don't care what the rabbis say or condone, it's just not. And I'm going off on a limb here, but religion is about good, positive things, and if someone needs to change how he/she lives, there is a positive way to address that. And anyone with any background in helping people improve their lives can tell you that except in unusual situations, the sort of treatment alluded to in the article will not result in an improved life, for anyone involved. And it depresses me because I was planning a trip to Israel and now I'm second-guessing myself.

Foul Drink

"An offering unique to the Olive Festival was the "beertini."

"Every glass of beer gets one or two large olives with a pimento in it, and we call it a beertini," Tavares said. "The object is to work down to the olive."

The line for the popular drink often more than 15 people deep.

"People love the beertini," event co-chairwoman Sherri McGinnis said."

http://www.insidebayarea.com/argus/localnews/ci_10639214


Seriously???? I mean possibly a grosser thing would be if the olive were replaced by rat poison but short of that, it's hard to imagine a grosser drink.

Whole Foods

I really have to stop paying $15 for mediocre sushi. But it's so damn convenient. I should have given it to the homeless man along with the rest of my stuff. And why am I suddenly giving away my purchases to homeless people and contemplating selling all of my worldly possessions on ebay? WTF is going on?

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Nancy Gray

So I have very mixed emotions about her. Clearly, she is borderline insane. But there is something to her ability to communicate with/attack average people that is clearly a skill. I am currently referring to her coverage of the latest OJ Simpson trial. I mean, everyone knows he was guilty in the first trial, even though I thought he should have been found innocent (as he was) so maybe it's only a fair outcome? I feel like stuff like that always happens to me, meaning I get prosecuted for things that I did in the past, so it's probably part of the way the universe works and he should just accept it and move on. Oy, do I need to sleep...

Friday, October 03, 2008

Humanity

This is going to be a really nasty post so I'm saving it for later when I calm down. However, to sum up, people are assholes. Self-centered, deprecating, and stupid. The last doesn't really have anything to do with it, but there's a reason it's there.

Stress

I must say that I am extremely happy that I am not one of those people who is unable to control stress. Reading stories about teenagers throwing up due to anxiety in anticipation of tests reminded me that I knew a bunch of people like that in high school and it must have been awful not only for them, but for their parents. As a parent, I just wouldn't have any idea what to do with that - I mean, how could you allow yourself to get so upset that you would be physically ill over something like a test? I guess as a parent you would try to calm them down, rationalize with them, but if they're teenagers, you've lost them already, you screwed something up in terms of teaching them priorities. I could probably do with more stress in my life, or at least a greater sense of urgency, or at least some respect for the system. Because there is a reason for stress and it can be extremely helpful, under the right circumstances. But I only get stressed out about irrational things and generally quite randomly so it's not at all productive. Like a couple months ago I became extremely stressed that I couldn't immediately find a collection of DVDs that had been missing for about a year. It was completely absurd, as I wasn't suddenly going to find them and in all likelihood they are not even in my apartment and I couldn't even play the majority of them as they're zone 2 and I had to set my computer to zone 1. But that's the weirdness of stress.

VP Debate

This is madness. It's making it unclear that Biden is about a million times more qualified for this position and would be infinitely more useful to a president than Palin because she is dragging down the level of the debate to some ridiculous laugh-fest. Sorry, but there's something about her personality that just hits my buttons - she's precisely the type of person I absolutely hate, who is condescending and stupid. Obviously, the worst combination to put in the white house. As in an earlier election, a wise individual told me that my vote for myself (I generally vote for myself) was a vote for the person I really didn't want to win may force me to not vote for myself this time. A dear friend also pointed out that since I do not meet the constitutional qualifications, it really is a vote wasted and that I should vote for my sister, who does meet the qualifications. I may be more comfortable with that.
Oh, and if I hear "maverick" again about an old white guy with like 8 homes and an idiot white woman who couldn't be more average american I am going to throw up. Sorry this sounds so partisan, but wow, Palin is really annoying.