Examinations

I hate exams. Totally hate them. But it isn't as though I have an alternate argument for them. The problem is that the educational system sucks all desire to learn out of children, such that repercussions are the only things available to motivate you by the time you should actually be paying attention. For me, it's just the simple fact that over the years, I have ceased to have any motivation whatsoever. I'm not motivated to work, or to not work, or to do much of anything. (I reference the Ferris Bueller scene here where the girlfriend and best friend are walking through daley plaza and both admit to not being interested in anything - I feel you) I blame treatment of the excess acid production in my stomach and the realization that I was allergic to wheat. Now that I don't have the stress associated with these conditions to deal with, I am too calm, I just don't even know myself anymore. And then I do silly things like buy boxes of chocolate (I don't like chocolate), more bananas (approximately 10 bananas have gone bad in my apartment in the past week), and a bunch of clothes for some imagined time when I'll want to leave my room and look lovely. The thing is, what I like is luxuriating in all my random thoughts and associations. That's the only thing I really enjoy and somehow that doesn't fit neatly into explaining why risk management can be a tax disaster, due to the treatment of swaps v. collars etc. My panda bear stuffed animal (Mr. Bear) is wearing a burberry golfing hat and taking this all in. I appreciate his upbeat and calming demeanor. He's a cutie.