Friday, July 10, 2009

Dullness

Today was one of those days. I started out by buying three 16 oz energy drinks (even though I had half of one at the office and another in my purse) and a jar of nutella. I then proceeded to eat the nutella with a spoon as I googled "how to shotgun a beer" not because I wanted to shotgun a beer (I'm allergic) but because I thought shotgunning one of the energy drinks might be a fine idea. I quickly realized I would be horribly nauseous and decided against it. Then, while reading about Shiites in Afghanistan forcing their women by law to do housework (which was so not a story to me - when are they going to actually start educating children in public schools and teach them that most of the world is a morass so I don't have to read the graduates of these schools post their shocked comments every time some "journalist" stumbles upon an incredible breaking story) and I see, "read your horoscope." I decide I will and get, for example, this: "there's excitement aplenty. Whether it will lead anywhere is another matter" What? what does that even mean? Where would excitement lead? Excitement is an emotional state - it doesn't lead anywhere. But I recognize that most people don't actually speak English. So then, the last three lines: "Don't become impatient. People may be moody or changeable. Unusual little things may occur." What does any of that mean? Of course I'll be impatient. I'm always impatient - it's a trait of my astrological sign, moreover. People MAY be moody or changeable? How about a heads-up when they AREN'T going to be moody or changeable. That would actually be informative. And what in the world is that last part supposed to mean? Unusual little things occur to me constantly. They irritate me to no end as it feels like I am living in an alternate reality. What a scam. There are legitimate horoscope folk, BTW. And it's 9am.